-A poem to tribute this collection-
He was there but never really around.
He was there but never really around.
He was there when our home served as a never-ceasing battleground.
I thought the concept of 'complete' was so profound.
Not until the feeling of hypophrenia started to surround.
He was a shadow, his presence was existent.
Though his existence became mental torment.
I indulged in the idea of emotional detachment.
But the facade was only a reminiscent of an innocent soul's longing sentiment.
Walking on eggshells and surviving everyday turbulence in the house has become a habit.
We all reached our limits, yet we thought we should hold back for the sake of family spirit.
The chaos was the family.
The embodiment became a coping strategy.
In the midst of pandemonium was acceptance.
Bittersweet grievance that became a tolerated nuisance.
In pursuit to balance the scale,
The trauma lived in the bodies to matter how frail.
He was there, always present, always so prominent.
Alas, it only brought my unwavering resentment.
Other houses were mundane but their lights never faltered.
Ours shined brightly too, but only after it is shattered.
To fit the standards of society, to be happy is to be fined.
And to be a part is to brainwash the mind.
The lights shined like my eyes,
While the tears complemented the facade of lies.
To smile and not cry was a power-
A power so strong I succumbed to its cerebral slaughter.
I was not vulnerable, my pain was.
I always thought finding the so called 'silver-lining' was a lost cause.
He was there, mentally intoxicating,
Physically deteriorating.
The abuse was taken for granted.
All in the name of a status nobody wanted.
The prestige was not enough to fix a numbed heart.
The hurting was nothing more than a grotesque piece of art.
So convoluted and yet sa intricate.
She blossomed, she withered, and she was delicate.
He was always there.
But when he wasn't, I felt free from the nightmares.
I felt bad and it was good.
I realized I was happier than ever when he just wasn't there.
I was guilty pleasure that gave me a sense of fulfillment.
That was when the stars started to become more fulgent.
I felt more than complete.
I felt fruition as if I finally was a human being free from the chamber of emotional maltreat.
He was there.
Although It'd be better if he just weren't.
