(𝓣𝓦!!!! 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕤: 𝕒𝕓𝕦𝕤𝕖, 𝕕𝕣𝕦𝕘 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕒𝕝𝕔𝕠𝕙𝕠𝕝 𝕦𝕤𝕒𝕘𝕖, 𝕓𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘, 𝕗𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕤𝕞, 𝕤𝕦!𝕔!𝕕𝕖, 𝕟𝕖𝕘𝕝𝕖𝕔𝕥, 𝕊ℍ, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕊𝔸. 𝕀𝕗 𝕒𝕟𝕪 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕠𝕣 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕦𝕟𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖 𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕖 𝕔𝕝𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕠𝕗𝕗 𝕟𝕠𝕨.
𝓓𝓪_𝓫𝓮𝓼𝓽_𝓵𝓾𝓷𝓲𝓲𝓲)
Yes you read that correctly. I'm dead. This isn't a scary ghost story or anything like that. This is my life story. I float above my tomb where my cold body lies watching as my mother, my father, my brother, and my sister sit in chairs in the halls where ceremonies of lost loved ones are held. I see them and I think to myself.. "why did they never show they cared this much when I was alive.?"
I do not crave revenge or hold any grudges or anger towards them. It would serve me no good. But I watch over my sister. She was the reason I was staying alive, but eventually I couldn't take it anymore. I just wish she wasn't the one who found me.
Let me start with the beginning, My name is Elodie Whitlock, I was born October 7th, 1976 and My mother's name was Liona Whitlock. While she paid for a roof over my head and to keep food in the cabinets and the fridge, she was neglectful and abusive. Like many people I don't remember being a baby, but I remember having to grow up as early as the age of 5 years old. My mother was either drunk or cheating on my father. But if I was in her way then I would get punished. If I broke a vase or spilt something she would lose it. She did a lot. She would but a cigarette out on my neck and other places on my body. She would lock me in my room for days without food.
She would beat me with a belt, a wooden spoon, a metal pan, or anything else she could lay her hands on. When I wouldn't break anything or get in her way she would ignore my needs. If I had a bad day at school she wouldn't know cause I wouldn't tell. I knew she wasn't going to care. My school life wasn't much better.
I was always aware that I did not have 'average' features. I had a large chest and what people call an 'hourglass figure' I was also thin because more often than not my mother forgot to restock the kitchen or I would be locked in my room. I would get verbally harassed in the hallways and the other girls would call me plastic and fake. All I could ever do was cry in my room alone.
My brother is older than me by only one year, but he's treated like he rules the world. His name is Jason Whitlock. When he got only one B on his report card he would get rewarded with a gift and a night of celebratory dinner at his favorite diner. If I had gotten anything less than an A even an A- I would go to bed hungry. God forbid I got a C. It was brutal. I wouldn't get food for a week and my mother would enter my room and abuse me until I couldn't move on the floor, till I was a sobbing bloodied mess. My sister is 2 years younger than me, she was the only one to actually care for me. The times she saw my bruises and my scars she would come to my aid and clean me up and take care of me. I would always tell her that I should be taking care of her instead of her taking care of me. She wouldn't care though. She never left my side. Sometimes she would sneak me food so I wouldn't starve to death.
I have yet to talk about my father..my father..that is not what he is to me. His name is Samuel Whitlock. Samuel is not my biological father. We found that out when I was just 10 years old. My mother was having another affair and got pregnant by the guy. She told Samuel I was his baby but one day the male she got pregnant by showed up on our doorstep. Unluckily I opened the door. He looked in my eyes and he looked like he actually loved me. I wonder whatever happened to him. My mother came to the door too stunned to speak as she whispered to him asking what he was doing there. He told her that he had to see me. That he had to meet his daughter. Right at that moment Samuel entered the room. Heard him say "my daughter" he looked at the man and asked what he meant. That's when he told everything. My mother tried silencing him but she couldn't stop him. I always knew with every wrong acts the truth would come to light. That night Samuel and my mother were screaming at each other. Samuel called her all types of insults. He called her a dirty cheating slut, and other things like that. After the fight my mother went storming to their room and Samuel came storming to mine.
I stared at him tears falling down my pink cheeks. All I could smell was alcohol. Samuel was a raging alcoholic. When he was drunk he would give me seductive looks and comments that would make me want to cover up. That night. Was the night I felt the most helpless. It went on for hours. He wouldn't stop. No matter I much I begged him or cried for him to. He did make sure to pull out so I didn't end up carrying his child. Once he finally left my room he left me in nothing but my under garments crying helplessly at what had just happened. That time I stayed in my room for a week all on my own. My door locked in fear that he would come back. I wish this wasn't true but I didn't know at that point in time it wasn't going to be the only time he would do that. As time went on he went on with it longer and longer every time. Everything was eating away at my soul. The abuse, the r@pe, the neglect, and school had gotten so much worse.
The girls would pull my hair and cut my hair. They would pull me into the bathroom during lunchtime and cut my clothes up. They told me if I wanted all the boys so bad saying that I was dressing slutty then I could have them. After cutting my clothes so I'm only in my under clothing they would push me into the male locker room where all the seniors would be. They would stare and then they did the exact same thing Samuel would do to me. I reported it to the school board once and the girls would put on a phenomenal act to make them think I made it up. Made them think I cut my own clothes for attention. They had no idea what would take place just months after. When my sister got to high school she would protect me when she could.
I had been holding on for so long. I always remembered when I was younger and my mother showed affection. But the day I died was the day she broke me. I had no clothes as it happened again and the school never provided any clothes. She took one look at me and called me a slut and proceeded to abuse me worse than ever. I will never forget the words that came out of her mouth before I lost consciousness. "I've made mistakes in my life before but you are by far the most disappointing and disgusting one I ever made." Something inside me snapped and I just felt broken. Shattered. I had no control. My sister found me. Cared for me. I'm so sorry that you were the one to find me Lilith.
The following day I missed school. When my sister returned she would enter my room to find me hanging from my ceiling. My scars on display my body lifeless and my face blue. My skin colder than a winter day. I laid there limp and unresponsive in her arms. I left a note on my bed. She picked it up and read the my goodbye message.
"Dear Lilith, mother, Samuel, and Jason. I apologize for giving up in such a way. But I couldn't take it anymore. No one except for Lilith believed me about school. Samuel grew attached to not pulling out forcing me to go on birth control. I couldn't take being humiliated everyday at school. I am sick and tired of being wounded so bad that I am unable to move. Lilith you are the best and most phenomenal people I've ever met. I'm sorry I'm leaving you but I'm so tired of having to carry this cumbersome body. No one had cared except for you. I love you Lilith. The rest of you are the reason why I can't live in this world anymore. Goodbye."
I float there above my coffin in the funeral house.
My mother, my brother, my sister, and Samuel look broken. Why didn't they care this much when I was alive? I don't know. But I do know one thing.
When you die, people cry and beg for you to come back, but when you're here they don't even show that they could care.
ℍ𝕖𝕪 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤!! 𝕀 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 𝕀 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤𝕟'𝕥 𝕤𝕞𝕦𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕀 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕕𝕠 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕓𝕠𝕠𝕜 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕀 𝕘𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕤 𝕚𝕥 𝕚𝕤? 𝔹𝕦𝕥 𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖𝕕 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕚𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕠𝕣 𝕡𝕖𝕠𝕡𝕝𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕘𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕤𝕚𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕒𝕣 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕡 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕝𝕠𝕥. 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤!!! 𝕄𝕨𝕒𝕙
-𝓭𝓪_𝓫𝓮𝓼𝓽_𝓵𝓾𝓷𝓲𝓲𝓲
