Hearts on Trial

chapter three

Mom and I are very similar in this regard; isolating ourselves when things get too much.

All four of my uncles, with their wives and children are here in this tiny, tiny house that the government provides for the poor. I'm locked in my room, staring at nothing, and their voices and clinks of dishes can be heard from the room my sister and I share.

Unlike me, Amina likes to keep busy when absolutely stressed. She woke up at the crack of dawn and has not returned to the room ever since. As for Kwame, my brother, he's taken on the role of head of the house very seriously.

A knock wraps on the door, pulling me out of my staring competition with the wall. My aunt walks in, my first uncle's wife, and she has a tray with food on it.

"Roana, I brought you something to eat," she says. Kwame is the one who called them. I wish he didn't.

I don't respond to my aunt. She sighs as she places the tray on the night stand between Amina and I's bed.

"You need to eat, you cannot go on like this forever," she says softly, but there's a sternness in her tone. She and my uncle are very much alike. I was taught that like properties repel, but not my uncle and his wife.

I still don't reply, at least not verbally. Instead, I slide down under my covers and turn away from her. I know because of the circumstances, I won't get an earful for this stunt.

Aunty 'Cebo sighs once again, this time louder. I wait with bated breath to see what she'll do next. A few beats later, I hear her footsteps as she leaves the room, the door shutting softly behind her. She left the tray of pap, chicken and cabbage with a side of juice on the nightstand.

Just then my phone vibrates under my pillow. I've been ignoring it for the past day. It's an unknown number, which makes me furrow my eyebrows in confusion. Because I know it will eat away at me if I don't answer, I swipe the screen to answer the call.

"Hello, Roana? It's aunty Grace from the next street. I wanted to talk to you about the arrangements. You do know your mother was in a society with us right? She made it clear that you'll be the person that we should communicate with about everything. Can the ladies and I come over today?"

I'd rather remain cooped up in this room. But one thing aunty Grace said is true. I remember when I turned 18. Mom sat me down in her room and gave me clear instructions on what to do when she passed. Those instructions are what make me agree to the meeting with the society ladies at 13:00 and what encourages me out of bed.

There is a duty for me to perform. I cannot fail my mother. I've done that once before, by disobeying her and going behind her back when she clearly told me I shouldn't. I can't help but feel that should I have just went to dragon city on Friday, my mother would still be alive.

They all stare at me like I'm a ghost when I enter the kitchen. I greet everyone with a hoarse voice from being quiet all day and crying regularly. Everyone watches me silently as I open the cupboard filled with my mother's dishes that she never allowed for us to touch, only reserved for guests. It's empty.

"Where are the dishes that were in here?" I question, looking at my three aunts in question. Aunty 'Cebo looks confused, aunty Thando is refusing to look me in my eyes while aunty Lesego walks over to me to check for herself.

"What dishes Roana?" Aunty Lesego asks but I don't answer her. Instead, I head outside to my uncle, the one married to aunty Thando, and find him with the rest of my uncles and my last aunt, who is serving them something to eat.

"Uncle Sello, may you please borrow me your car keys?" Unsuspecting, uncle Sello gives me the car keys and I go straight to his beat up van with a canopy. I unlock the back and in there I find what I am looking for. All of my mother's Tupperware, including the casseroles she bought with her hard earned money and other fancy dishes she kept in there to collect dust.