𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐀 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 , 𝐚𝐮𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐧

𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤.

THE meticulous tickling of the clock sent zia into a fit of rage. her knuckles turning white against her pencil as she blinked in slowed patterns, attempting to ignore the sound as everything around her seemed be closing in tighter. the sounds of pen scraping against the thinned lined paper again and again beckoned in her mind as her eyes seared shut. heat warming her cheeks as she felt the noises behind her dull down to utter silence.

zia madden had been in the library for 3 hours. she had lost track of time after the first half hour. it didn't matter to her that she had not left the desk once, or that she had not dropped her pen once or stirred her eyes away from her textbooks that splayed messily in front of her. the only thing that did matter was the fact she had spent three hours attempting to revise for her stats exam and she had gotten nowhere.

her mind was everywhere else but here.

zia jumped slightly at the buzzing of her phone beside her, picking it up on instinct she heard the soft voice of ada on the other line. a smile adorned the girls face at the welcoming sound of ada caddel in her usual cheery mood.

"hey there, what are you doing right now?" ada questioned. zia huffed slowly, looking at the mess around her before replying in a hushed whisper.

"i'm here at the library." she heard the choke in ada's voice as she let out a staggered breath.

"still? z it's 5pm you left here at like 2. get your ass home right now." ada demanded, she was all too familiar with zia's habits. zia madden was smart, she strived only for the best in everything she did. and she was the best in everything she did. her success coming from the fact she never let herself fail and if she did she would coop herself up in the library until she was forced to come home from either jade or ada.

it wasn't that zia seeked approval from her parents, they were well beyond proud of their daughter. and it wasn't that her professors second guessed her abilities they were well aware. ot was that no matter what zia madden did, no matter the score or percentage. it didn't feel like enough. no matter how much she heard people tell her it was there still an voice inside her that constantly bit at her brain telling her it wasn't.

"uhm- yeah just give me another 20 minutes." zia blabbered as she flicked through the pages of her text books, highlighting key point as if she hadn't done it over a million times tonight. 

"no z, come home. please? paige, nika and aubrey are coming over for dinner and jade's cooking your favourite." zia could practically see the beaming smile on ada's face. under the terms of her best friend she begrudgingly agreed.

"okayy, i'm leaving now. i'll see you in 10?" zia chuckled as she could hear her two roommates squeal on the other line as if she wasn't going to come back home either way.

"yes! okay, we'll see you then. love you," ada quipped, making zia smile as she piled her things together, neatly tucking them away in her bag as she stretched her arms over her head. yawning before muttering a small i love you.

line beeping before she shut her phone back into her pocket. her eyes fazed into a slight blur as she rubbed them softly adjusting to the florescent lights of the uconn library. looking out the window only darkness blanketed the other side.

zia hummed quietly to herself as she walked towards her car. the new coldness of the air hitting her hard as her lips quivered. hands curling into her sleeves as she rushed into the drivers seat, sighing in relief at the comforting warmth.