Rhythm of deception||Jude Bellingham

Hidden truths

As I walked into class, I couldn't help but feel like I was living in a dream world. Everyone around me seemed so carefree, so oblivious to the turmoil that brewed inside me. Blake caught my eye, flashing me his famous smile, and I felt my heart skip a beat. I quickly looked away, trying to compose myself, but I couldn't shake the feeling that he saw right through me. That he knew my secret, my hidden truth.

Adelle chattered on beside me, discussing her plans for the weekend, but I tuned her out, lost in my own thoughts. I wondered what it would be like to be free, to be able to express my true feelings without fear of judgment. To be able to tell Blake how I really felt, without risking our friendship, without risking Adelle's happiness. But that was a luxury I couldn't afford, so I pushed the thoughts aside, focusing on the lesson at hand. Or at least, trying to.

The teacher droned on, discussing something about literature, but I found my mind wandering back to Blake. I thought about the way he made me laugh, the way he always knew how to make me feel better when I was down. I thought about the way he smiled at me, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners. And I felt my heart ache, knowing that I could never have him, knowing that he would never see me in that way. I felt like I was stuck in a never-ending cycle of longing, of loving someone who could never love me back.

Jade caught my eye, concern etched on her face, and I knew I had to snap out of it. I couldn't let my feelings show, not now, not ever. So I forced a smile, trying to reassure her that everything was fine. But it wasn't fine. Nothing was fine. I was living a lie, a lie that I couldn't sustain much longer. I felt like I was drowning, suffocating under the weight of my secrets.

As the class dragged on, I found myself zoning out, lost in my own thoughts. I thought about my parents, about the expectations they had for me. I thought about the pressure to succeed, to be perfect. And I felt like I was failing, like I was falling short in every way. I felt like I was living a life that wasn't mine, a life that was chosen for me, not by me                       

I felt like I was living a life that wasn't mine, a life that was chosen for me, not by me. I thought about my friends, about how they seemed to have it all together. Adelle with her perfect relationship, Jade with her perfect grades. And I felt like I was the only one who was struggling, like I was the only one who was lost.

But I knew that couldn't be true. Everyone struggles, everyone has their own secrets. And I wondered what my friends' secrets were, what they hid behind their perfect facades. Did Adelle ever feel trapped in her relationship? Did Jade ever feel like she was losing herself in her quest for perfection?

As the class finally came to a close, I felt a sense of relief wash over me. I gathered my things and followed my friends out of the classroom, trying to push my thoughts aside. But they lingered, haunting me like a ghost.

We walked to our next class in silence, the only sound the rustling of leaves beneath our feet. I felt like I was stuck in a dream, a dream that I couldn't wake up from.

As we walked, I couldn't help but notice the way Blake interacted with Adelle. They were like two peas in a pod, always laughing and joking together. And I felt like an outsider, like I was watching a movie that I couldn't participate in.

I thought about all the times I had tried to get close to Blake, to get him to see me in a different light. But it seemed like no matter what I did, he always saw me as just a friend. And I felt like I was stuck in this rut, like I was never going to be able to escape.

We reached our next class and took our seats, and I tried to focus on the lesson. But my mind kept wandering back to Blake, to the way he made me feel. And I knew that I had to find a way to move on, to find a way to stop loving him.

But it was easier said than done. Every time I saw him, every time he smiled at me, I felt my heart skip a beat. And I knew that I was in trouble, that I was never going to be able to let him go.

As the class came to a close, I felt a sense of relief wash over me. I gathered my things and followed my friends out of the classroom, trying to push my thoughts aside. But they lingered, haunting me like a ghost.

We walked to our lockers, chatting and laughing, and I tried to join in. But my heart wasn't in it, and I knew that I was just going through the motions.