More - Loscar

3. Fix You

Oscar's Hotel room, Post-Belgian Grand Prix

Oscar's POV

I was still a little stressed when I walked out of the bathroom. I guess it showed on my face

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah all good. Do you need water or anything?" I relaxed after seeing him just sitting in bed, looking very normal about sharing a bed with one of his childhood best friends.

"Yeah water would be great"

I realized there really was nothing for me to worry about either, and I should just enjoy the time I have with him right now.

I gave him one of the bottles of water from the hotel before climbing into bed. 

"Do you want the charger?" I asked, secretly hoping he wouldn't because I only had 16%.

"Nah, I don't need it. I'm not a screenager like you," he said with a laugh.

"Hey, I'm not on my phone that much."

"Don't even try, I spent enough time with you at Prema to know that is a complete and total lie," he said laughing harder.

Usually I'm pretty quiet but I swear his laugh is contagious. My cheeks got warm so I distracted myself by plugging my phone into the charger and putting on the nightstand. 

Even just playing a silly game I had been so content and peaceful just being near him. I had forgotten this feeling for a long time, even though I hadn't really realized it before. I had been distant and withdrawn from something that made all my worries seem insignificant. Logan made me feel so good inside, and I don't want to forget that feeling again.

We talked for what seemed like forever and I enjoyed every second of it. We reminisced about all our old times in karting, Formula Renault Eurocup in 2018, and with Prema in 2020. He really reminded me of all the fun we had. I picked up my phone to look at the time again before turning to him. 

Logan's POV

My plans to bring Oscar back to me looked like they worked. He's not the most expressive person but I could see in his eyes and in his smile, he missed me too. I love talking and hanging out with him. He hasn't changed since I first met him, which is just one thing about him. He can be so grounding, but still tons of fun.

"Oh mate, we should really get to sleep, it's almost 12:30."

"Oh yeah, sure"

We both went under the covers and wished each other good night.

As much as I didn't want the night to end, I supposed he was right. I tried so hard to fall asleep, but it just wouldn't come. I felt like if I slept I would lose today. These moments wouldn't come back, not the ones today, nor the ones from years ago. 

I can't lose Oscar again. I have to keep him with me. He can't leave me again. I don't care if I sound clingy or if he has other friends. I still need him. 

I miss him so much, even if he's right here. I feel like I can never get enough of him. I'll never have enough time with him. I need to make him stay.

I was so deep in that I couldn't think of anything else until I felt the tears streaming down my face. Oscar turned me over so I was facing him.

"Logan are you okay?" he said it with so much concern that for a moment, I thought he really might not leave again. 

I couldn't say anything. I couldn't breathe. I just lay there in Oscar's hotel bed until he pulled me into a hug.

I held on to him like he was vanishing into the air. I felt bad for making him worry, but at the same time I couldn't think about anything else in that moment.

He left me, but I have a chance at getting him back.

I have a chance at not just being the American kid in Formula 1 who's only friend is his teammate. 

The loneliness just makes me even more determined to make him stay. I need him to stay. 

I felt him hug me back, maybe even tighter than I was holding him. He looked so worried. I immediately felt guilt pile on me for stressing him out. All the confidence I previously had was fueled by loneliness and fear of abandonment. 

Oscar's POV

"Logan what's wrong?"

He had cried harder than I'd ever seen him cry. The tears weren't many, but his whole body shrugged each time he sobbed. I could feel his heart racing against my chest, He held me so tight I was surprised his arms didn't give out.

He shook his head and muttered, "It's so stupid."

"No, Logan tell me, please. Look at me," I quietly begged.

I hated seeing him like this. I wondered what on Earth could overwhelm his mind this way. I felt almost as helpless as he probably did.

He finally looked up at me with swollen red eyes and only whispered three words. 

"I miss you"

He said it with the saddest and faintest smile on his lips.

He also said it in present tense, he still misses me. He still misses all of our good times together. He still misses all of our conversations and little games. This was the moment that I realized the extent to which I did too. 

I held him again, tighter than I did before. My thoughts started racing before I could start to think properly. One sentence kept repeating in my mind. 

What have I done?

I knew he didn't know many people or have many friends in F1. Still I chose to hang our with Lando and his friends. I could have had so much more time with him, but I chose not to. I chose not to be with Logan. My Logan.

His grip on me slowly loosened. He fell asleep. I tried to get out from under him, but I quickly realized I wouldn't be able to do that without waking him up. 

I gave up and lay there, holding the person who I had unknowingly hurt so deeply. He was still the person I spent every moment with in F3 and hung out with in karting. He was still the same. I was the distant one. I was the one who had changed.

But why had I done it? I miss him so much now. I should have stayed with him. We would have been best friends. We could've had so much more.

----------A/N----------

Soooo, how's everyone doing?

I'm not gonna lie this chapter was a little bit hard to write at the beginning but It slowly got easier. It's a little shorter but I'm still happy with it.

I am in no way prepared for school, but I guess there's no stopping it. Today I had my first day and it actually wasn't bad. Maybe the kid who got duct taped to a chair and had eggs thrown at him actually did something bad because that didn't seem normal. The cheerleaders were very nice during orientation so I think I'll be okay. My history teacher is racist in the funniest way and my algebra 2 teacher is like mentally asleep, but my technical design teacher is actually really cool and the class seems really interesting. I meet the rest of my teachers tomorrow so hopefully that goes well.

Sometimes I imagine what F1 drivers would look like while doing Just Dance. I love Just Dance but a lot of them would just be so bad at it. Like just picture George Russell, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, and Alex Albon doing the Dynamite Just Dance. Crazy right?

Anyways I hope you have a nice morning, evening, afternoon, or night, wherever you are, and I'll see you next Monday (that's if I make it through a full week of school though).