her words.

part fiftyone

Dear Chris,

It wasn't you, it was me. I promise. I don't know how to explain it to you, and I'm sorry.

Thank you for sticking with me. Even when I wouldn't tell you what was going on. Even when I said I hated you. Thank you.

The baby. I think that's what pushed me over the edge. I'm sorry I had to tell you this way. I didn't want to be the one to ruin your high school experience, but I probably have already, huh?

I don't know if it was a boy or a girl, I lost it too soon. It would have been an amazing human being though, because it was half you.

But you know what, you'll get to procreat someday. You'll have beautiful little babies with a girl who deserved you much more than I did. Good luck. I can't wait to see what good you add to the world, like you did to mine.

I love you.

Aimee.

Chris looks up from the semi crumpled paper and stares at me with sad brown eyes. I can see the tears threatening to form.

"She was pregnant?"

"She miscarried.", I tell him. It hurts me. I can't imagine the pain he must feel.

"She told me but I didn't take her seriously.", he adnits. "I would've stayed with her, you know. If she did have it."

I nod. "I think she knew that."

He unexpectedly pulls me in for a hug, and the tighter he squeezes me, the more I feel his pain. "I loved her.", he chokes out. "And if I ever did hurt her, I didn't mean it."

"She knew that too." I loved her too, I think to myself.