Formula one sickfics/oneshots

Control

People: Max Verstappen, Daniel Ricciardo, Gianpiero Lambiase

Ages: Max Verstappen (18), Daniel Ricciardo (27), Gianpiero Lambiase (35)

- POV Max -

"Max, hey, stop pacing. Sit down", Daniel told me, pushing me down onto the couch by my shoulders. "I just don't understand. The car doesn't react to anything I do, it's like the car is controlling me. Why the fuck am I not in control? How the fuck do I get in control of this damn thing?!". "I know, buddy. I know you need control, and I know you don't have full control of the car right now, but no matter how frustrated you get, it won't fix a thing", Daniel explained calmly. Then, he pulled me into a bear-hug. That's why he was one of my best friends.

Daniel understood

Daniel knew just what I needed

I just let myself cry into his arms. I knew this might look pathetic to anyone else, but I'm a control freak, an extreme control freak. Usually, the car didn't let me down, but the weekend, at this stupid track, I didn't even have the slightest semblance of control. But Daniel knew what to do to calm me down again and make me feel like I was at least in control of myself. Sadly, my moment of peace of interrupted when Daniel and I were told to get ready for the race. Before he left my room, Daniel ruffled my hair and kept repeating to me to not let the car take control over me.

2 hours later and Daniel's advice felt more like a curse he had thrown on me. The car was even more unpredictable than in the earlier sessions, and it was far from reliable. As I rounded a corner and the car understeered heavily, which caused me to go into the gravel, I swore loudly. I felt my chest get tight and my hands were shaking. I immediately knew there was something very wrong and my urge for control only grew stronger, now realizing I couldn't even control my breathing anymore.

"Max, you can carry more speed into turns 2, 6 and 7", I was informed over the radio, but I couldn't care less. "Max, do you copy?". "Stop talking", I commanded. "Why? What's wrong Max?", came the immediate response. "Just *gasp* stop talking". "No, I need a proper reason first. What's going on? Are you okay?". "No I'm not fucking okay! This car isn't *gasp* doing anything I want, and I've got no fucking control of it! I've got no control at all. Fuck, I can't even *gasp* control my own breathing anymore", I panicked.

There was about a second of radio silence, which only made me feel more uneasy. What if they were all laughing at me or calling me dramatic or- "Max, listen to me. Take a deep breath, follow me. Deep breath in through your nose...and slowly out through your mouth. Again, in through your nose, out through your mouth. Keep doing that", GP said calmly, guiding me to take slower, deeper breaths than before. He gave me a few seconds to try to regain my breath, before he interrupted me again, his voice still calm, but with a little hint of care.

"Now, I know you need control, and this car isn't bringing you that right now, but the team is in control. We know what we're doing. I know what I'm doing. We've got it under control. I've got it under control. We're going to do this, together. I've got you and I'm not letting you down, never. Tell me if anything changes, whether that be with the car or with you. Tell me immediately if you don't feel well, so I can help you through it. I've got your back. I've got control", he assured me.

Somehow, his words brought me great comfort, helping me to calm down and focus solely on the race. I managed to finish the race in P8, which I saw as an achievement with the way the car was this weekend. "P8, great job. I'm proud of you buddy", GP said, and the words kept repeating in my mind. It had been a long time since anyone had last said that to me. "Thank you", I said timidly, a shy smile hidden beneath my helmet.

After media duties, where I luckily didn't have to explain myself, as the radio hadn't aired, I went straight back to my driver room. I opened the door and was met with Gianpiero. He was just sitting there, on the couch, a worried look in his eyes. It was rare to see his eyes displaying anything but the neutral, calm expression they always held. "Come here", he said, showing me a slight smile as he opened his arms for me. I closed the door behind me and stared at his open arms for a little while. I wasn't used to getting hugs, but that didn't mean I didn't enjoy them though.

But why would Gianpiero offer me one?

I had never seen him hug anyone before, other than congratulatory hugs after a good race result. The hug he was offering me seemed much more like a consoling one, one meant to heal. But I didn't deserve those. I wasn't broken, and I didn't need to heal. I shouldn't have said that over the radio. I hate showing emotion, letting others in on how I'm feeling. Giving into his hug, no matter how tempting it seemed, would show way too much vulnerability.

I'm not vulnerable

I'm not weak

I don't need anybody

I can do this on my own

"Max, hey, get out of that brain of yours. Let me in, talk to me", GP said. I just stared at him, looking for any sign of judgement or disgust. A strong hand on my arm made me come back to reality, looking up at GP, who was stood there, frowning. "What can I do for you, Max? What do you need?". I didn't have to think about that for very long. There was only one thing I truly needed right now. "Control. I need control". "I can't give you that, but maybe you could allow me to take control for a little while? It might help to know that I have everything under control and that I'll help you through these things".

I considered this, but it was a difficult decision. I'd always hated the feeling of not being the one in control, but when GP told me earlier, in the car, that he was in control, it did feel strangely calming. I nodded, my eyes fixated on the floor beneath me. "Good, I'll take it from here. Let me take control. Allow me to show you I have everything under control", he said, and it sounded like he was carefully weighing his words. "What can I do for you?", he asked again, a little more insistently this time, like he wanted desperately to help me.

"Is the offer for a hug still up?", I asked timidly. GP dropped the bag he was holding and immediately engulfed me into a tight hug, the feeling of physical contact feeling comforting in some way. "That's it. Let me take control. I've got this. I've got you". I let myself relax in GP's arms, my muscles slowly letting go of the tension as he rubbed my back. Sadly, the moment of peace got interrupted by a knock.

"Max, can I come in?", Daniel asked. "Sure, come in", I said, wriggling myself out of GP's embrace. Daniel came in and went straight over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Christian told me you had a bit of a moment", he said, sounding sympathetic. "I'm fine, it was just the heat of the moment", I lied nonchalantly. "It's okay to admit you're struggling", Gianpiero told me. "I know", I sighed, staring down at the floor once again. "Did you lose control?", Daniel asked, to which I nodded. "I take it this is a common problem then?", GP asked. "Yeah, I'm a bit of a control freak".

Daniel gently lifted my chin up, forcing me to make eye contact with him. "This is nothing to be ashamed of Maxy. It's human", he comforted. I noticed Gianpiero nod in my peripherals, silently agreeing with Daniel's statement. "Thanks Dan". I turned my attention to GP now, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt as I looked at him. "I'm sorry. I know I was being very difficult, and I put all of that on you. I hate that you felt obliged to help me through it and- ", I started, but Gianpiero didn't even let me finish my sentence.

"Max, you've got nothing to apologize for. I didn't mind helping you out and you weren't being difficult either, neither did you put anything on me. It was my own choice to help, and I didn't feel obligated at all. As I said before, I'm proud of you and this won't change that". Before I could even get my thoughts straight, I was crushed into a hug by Daniel, GP joining in on it. Somehow, I didn't need any more reassurance than this. I knew that I could tell these two idiots everything and they wouldn't judge me or think differently about me because of it.

I was safe with them, and I would always have them, no matter what.