Muted

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

You pressed a butterfly kiss to his nose.

"Say it," he urged, his fingers wiggling teasingly in the air.

You giggled, shaking your head. "No."

For hours, you had been wrapped in each other's arms on top of a bed of blankets made on his living room floor. You had talked about any and everything. Yet, despite that time, it had only been minutes since you discovered for the first time one of life's most delightful mysteries-the tickle.

"Well, you know what is going to happen then," he nudged, inching closer and evoking a squeal from you.

"No! Please!" you laughed out. Even though tears of joy still clung to your eyes lashes, you weren't sure you could handle another round of his playful assault. Your abs were already on fire. "Fine. Fine! I-I'll do it! Just don't..." you trailed off, narrowing your gaze on his fingers.

He paused dramatically, hands stilling mid air, waiting for you to comply to him.

"Yu-yu..." you attempted again, to simply say his name, but you stammered for the third time.

Deep down you knew it shouldn't be so hard to say someone's name, but it was. In the District, a person was never addressed by their first name. Using someone's given name in casual conversation was considered unnecessarily personal, as it was reserved solely for identification purposes.

Yet, here he was, asking you to defy convention again and call him by his name, and it felt oddly intimate.

"You can do it," he teased, as if you were a young child he was teaching simple arithmetic. "I have faith in you."

A fiery blush warmed your cheeks.

Yuzuru. Yuzuru. Yuzuru.

It shouldn't be so hard to go against a culture that had unknowingly been instilled in you. Especially with this, when you felt like his name lived on repeat in your brain... just like his face, his voice... his lips. They were a constant echo in your thoughts as of late.

"Y-yuz-" you tried, only to falter once again.

Within seconds, before you could object, his fingers resumed their playful assault. You squirmed helplessly, attempting to wiggle from his grasp, but it was too late. He was already causing laughter to uncontrollably spill from your lips, so loud that he had to place his own lips on top of them to quiet you. Minutes later, you laid together, breathless from both laughter and kisses.

His hands delicately gripped your sides as your face nestled into the crook of his neck.

"Try again," he whispered.

You smiled, momentarily wondering if you truly wanted this little game to stop after all.

"Yuzu..." you whispered, hands threading through his hair.

"Not quite," he murmured, his hands clasping you tighter. To your surprise, his tickles did not commence at your error. Instead, he looked at you with with soft eyes. "Yuzu will do for now. But...in return I need something."

Your eyes met his. "What?"

"I want to call you by your name."

You were fairly certain you would gladly give this man anything he asked for, but you couldn't understand why this was so important to him. It was just a name- a few letters meshed together to identify one person from the next.

"Why?" you questioned.

Yuzuru's hand cupped the back of your head, pulling you closer until you were mere millimeters apart. His eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made your heart flutter. "Your name... it's a gift from those who loved you, a reminder that they were here, they did exist, and that they mattered. It's a memento and proof that their love endures even when they are gone. I want to honor that love, to call you the way they did."

His voice carried a weight that made your breath hitch. And when he kissed you a moment later, heat creeped into your very being.

"Emma," he whispered, his lips only just barely pulling away from yours, his breath warm against your skin. "Emma," he repeated, his fingers tangling in your hair as if anchoring you to the moment. "Emma," he chanted once more, his lips brushing yours with each syllable.

Every time he whispered your name, it felt like a sacred mantra. He spoke it so carefully, so meaningfully, as if uttering your name unveiled a fragment of your soul, a part of you had long forgotten. And with each tender kiss, he showed you how deeply he cherished every piece of you he rediscovered.

Goosebumps flitted across your skin.

Although the world outside may be a cold place, inside this apartment with him was a warm hearth. And even if the world around you was muted and monotone, in his arms was music and color. Here you had found your sanctuary.

If you could remain like this forever, even while trapped under the control of your Daily Supplements and the Regime, perhaps you could be happy.