The Edge

Luca: Part Ten

Luca wished he kept a cool head about things. Even a dissociative state would feel more dignified than what actually happened: he started clawing at the stone wall between him and where he'd come, hoping to clear away enough debris to let him through.

Of course, that didn't happen. The fistfuls of rock he was able to move did nothing to make a dent in the cave-in. The longer he went without progress, the more panicked he became. His mind was a wash of confusion and terror, voices mocking him with how useless he was, how lost he was, how dangerous it was down here...

The crystals, idiot! They react badly with your powers, remember?!

Luca scrambled back. The voices kept echoing in his head as he frantically wiped his hands off on his sweater, but a few deep breaths were able to drive most of them away. He'd just realized that this place was screwing with him; why had his first reaction been to keep touching the problem?

"Because you're an idiot?"

Great. His nightmare self was back. "Yeah, probably," Luca muttered in response. The agreement actually shut his nightmare version up for a second, though Luca could still see him peering out from every reflective surface. "I have to think. I have to..." He closed his eyes. "There has to be something."

He was drawing a blank. All evidence pointed to him being stuck, and left him kicking himself for his bad life choices. If only he'd stayed put earlier. If only he hadn't left the group. If only...

"Are you sure they've even noticed you're gone?"

Of course they had. Alan had promised he'd go for help, and Arian would notice if no one else did. He was the one who'd sent Luca out there. He'd get help.

"No, he won't. You know Arian. He knows when to cut and run better than anyone. If it's down to the others or you, he's going to tell them to save themselves."

"Don't talk about Arian like that," Luca snapped. "He's not..."

"He is, and you're not important enough for him to come back for. You know that."

Luca tried to close himself off to the argument. It was hard, but he did everything he could. Breathed deep. Focused on the floor beneath him. Asked himself one important question: What's the worst thing that could happen?

I die down here because no one comes for me.

What were the chances of that happening?

The voices reflecting back at him had been saying they were high. He had to acknowledge that was a real fear, a real uncertainty, an extension of the seeds of uncertainty that had been sown in his mind a long time ago and were difficult to pull. But when he really thought about it...

Everyone had agreed to go after Arian when he'd gone missing, even though it had held them up and put them in danger. When he was a kid and had found a food stash tinted with fears of not having enough when (not if) the family decided to throw Arian out, he'd been the one to tell his brother that would never happen. He'd also been the one to tell Gideon that they loved him and wanted him there.

He believed it for both of them. What made him any different?

"They won't come for you," his reflection insisted. "Why would they?"

"I'm their brother," he whispered back. "They love me."

You couldn't always logic your way out of anxiety. The voice was still there, clawing at his mind, insisting that he was different, his situation was different. They wouldn't come for him. The words still stung and made him feel terrible all over, but he found that if he held onto the facts, onto reality...

My family loves me.

...he could keep breathing.

They'll come back for me.

Deep breath in.

My family loves me.

Deep breath out.

They'll come back for me.

Deep breath in.

My family loves me.

Deep breath out.

I just have to wait.

Deep breath in...

The rocks in front of him moved.

Luca scrambled back, expecting a new collapse, but nothing happened. For a second, he thought he'd just been jump scared by the rocks resettling. That would be embarrassing, sure, but better than another earthquake or a worse collapse.

Then the rocks moved again. As they settled, he realized he could hear voices.

"-uca? Luca!"

That was Gideon's voice. That was his brother. "I'm here..." Luca's voice cracked, but he pushed through to shout it again: "I'm here!"

As if in response, the rocks began to move again. It was like they were being carefully pushed aside, creating a gap just big enough to see who was on the other side.

"No, no, hold on, not those..." Matteo was staring intently at the slowly forming hole, one hand on Helen's shoulder. "Okay...okay...okay..."

Gideon was frozen nearby, his own eyes fixed on Luca. "Are you hurt?" he asked. "Can you stand?"

"My ankle...I can probably stand, but not for long."

"That's fine. We've just got to get you through. Matteo will let us know when it's safe."

Luca immediately felt calmer. Matteo would know for sure if it was safe to move. That was probably why he was guiding Helen...

Wait.

Luca's gaze snapped to his sister.

Her hand was stretched towards the rock pike. There was a trickle of blood starting to run down her nose, but if she was in pain, she didn't show it. She was using her powers.

Luca couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her do that.

"Okay, get ready to move," Gideon said, drawing Luca's attention back. "We'll have to be fast."

Luca nodded and scooted closer before standing. Predictably, getting up hurt a lot, but he reminded himself that it was temporary. They came for you. You're getting out of here.

The thought made the pain a lot more bearable.

"Okay," Gideon said. "We're ready."

"Just a little more," Matteo said. The gap widened. "Okay, now, now, go – "

Luca leaned through the hole; Gideon grabbed him and hauled him through. The rocks started falling almost the second he was clear, and all four of them scrambled back. Luca clung to Gideon as tightly as he could. Images flashed through his mind: Gideon being one of the first ones down trying to clear rocks out of the way, Tola having to calm him down, him holding onto that calm with every coping skill in his toolkit because he knew it was the best way for him to help...

"We've got you," Gideon said, his voice shaking slightly. "You're okay. You're going to be okay."

Luca hugged his brother and sobbed with relief.

For the first time, he really felt like he couldbelieve those words.