A mistake

what happened

SAKURAS POV

She wasnt always like this. It wasnt until the 2 years ago did someone rock her boat.

two yeasr ago at the end of the year party. Someone spiked her drink. It was jay

"Well if u already started you might as well take more"

"Nah im good i dont do these things"

"But you just did"

Whatever was in her drink hit her right then and there. All control lost.

He kept handing her these "treats" almost shoving them in her mouth. But as we all know there are many end of the year partys including the 3 run by various broadcasting companies. Each and every party forcefully fed these tiny tic tac looking things that would soon start her most upsetting story.

The fimmies were party people. Well half of them were. Kazuha and Yunjin being the extroverts they loved attending which left chaewon and sakura to attend to make sure they were taken care of. So parties were not a new thing to them which caused them to keep getting invited.

It was a never ending cycle for sakura.

Eventually the addiction took over.

She wasnt sure if she was addicted or not until one day it dawned on her.

Sakura had been taking these pills to essentially prepare for the parties because she already knew jay would be there with a brand new set with her name on it.

At practice she was a little sluggish after coming down from her week long high.

"Unnie are you okay?"

" yea why?"

" did you sleep well?"

" i think im just under the weather?"

Kkura knew something was wrong but couldnt put her finger on it

" maybe you need some medicine"

Eunchae you smart girl. Thats exactly what I needed, she thought

" your right im just going to head home, i'll see you guys later"

The oldest member went home that night and took 3 lines.

Its not that she wanted to be this way. Its because she had to be. Jay gave her a choice and she had to live by it.

"Cmon kkura just take it"

" no jay its been too long i cant be doing this i need to stop"

" you cant. The consequence is too big"

Her mouth went dry. He wouldnt right?

" that video i have of you after your first time, dispatch would pay millions to see long time idol sakura doing illegal drugs at a party, What a headline"

" You wouldnt"

"But i would"

"You cant please jay i'll do whatever you want i swear"

" here for you" and with that he dropped a little white pill in her hand"

"It will be our little secret" he says with a huge smile

She thinks to herself

I cant be like this but i cant ruin everyones careers. The company. But what about me? I need help

*THE PRESENT*

"Kkura why didnt you say anything we could have helped or gotten help"

"Chaewon you dont get it. I tried to stop this but i cant ruin everything."

"So you chose to ruin yourself"

" no i- i just- i dont know okay i dont know but i tried to stop on my own and i tried to move on from them but he is everywhere. They are everywhere. I dont want to keep taking these god awful drugs, its so bad i know but now i'm addicted to them and it gets worse around new year and award show season because i just cant help myself anymore."

Chaewon looked at her silently

"I know im supposed to be the best example to everyone, im the oldest, the one with most experience and for some reason here i am"

"Kkura you should have came to me for help. We could have stopped going to all these parties or just reported jay."

"Well we are way passed that now and im so afraid chaewon i dont want to die"

" we can try to help you"

"Please dont tell anyone else especially eunchae and zuha"

" i wont but lets start with you handing me all of what you got"