Black Waters [A Dark Romance Military Fanfiction]

Chapter 7 Her Markings

As I walked into the barracks, Zayde was sitting on my bed. He looked deep in thought. I couldn't see Lance. I figured he was in the shower. As I got closer to my bunk, Zayde noticed me and stood up. "Hey, I'm just heading to bed. I heard you are leaving in the morning." He walked right up to me setting his hand on my cheek. I stared into his eyes then surprised by his next action. A tear ran down his face. "I thought I had lost you. I thought you had..." His voice began to break. I never expected him to act like this. He fell to his knees. "Woah. Zayde, what's wrong?" His voice sounded like it was broken. I bent down and lifted his head. "Hey, it's alright. I'm here." He didn't speak. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me in a deep embrace. "I'm so glad you are okay. I was afraid that you would die. Seeing you in that room, full of needles and tubes. I was terrified for you, Sierra. You shouldn't have been sent on that mission. It should've been me. I don't know why Sergeant sent you on that mission."

I was going to speak, but he raised his finger over my lips. "I know you think that you were meant to go on that mission, but no. It shouldn't have been you. I don't want to sound like this, but you are scared. I know mentally you can't do this. I've seen you." I was too stunned to speak. He grabbed the jacket that was covered over my body and slid it down. "I've seen your scars. I don't know what you've been through, but one thing I know is that you aren't meant for this." I stood there for a moment before I pulled my jacket back up. "You know nothing about me or what I am meant for. Maybe I do this for a reason. You don't know my life. Stop pretending you care about me." He stood back up and got close to my face grabbing my arms. "But I do, Sierra! Go home. This is suicide!" Without hesitation, I slapped him across the face. Shocked by my actions, I stepped back. I didn't know what I was about to say, but I spoke something other than I should've said. "You don't control me. Good luck on your mission." As I walked away, I saw Lance standing in the doorway. I rushed past him hitting his shoulder. "Ow. What did you do, Zayde? Why is she so pissed?" Zayde sighed. "I said something I shouldn't have. Whatever. It's nothing now. Are you finished packing? We have to leave early in the morning, and we need our rest."

Lance and Zayde finished packing their supplies for the mission. I didn't know what would happen to them. Would they run into that guy I ran into? The man who killed all my comrades. I walked back into the barracks quietly. It looked like Lance and Zayde had already fallen asleep. I walked quietly into the shower room. As I was taking my clothes off, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around covering myself. "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you, Luv." It was Lance. "I was worried for you, so I came to check on you. Zayde is already asleep. I just had to wait for you to return." I sighed. "What do you want, Lance? Are you going to tell me to go home too? That this is suicide?" He shook his head. "No. I wanted to check on you. I saw your fight with Zayde. He cares for you a lot. I see that. He always talks about you. I believe he's developed some feelings for you." I shook my head. "I don't care. He doesn't have feelings. We've barely known each other. He's just my comrade and that's all we will ever be." Lance sighed. "I believe he does, Sierra. He was so worried for you when you came back that day. The day you stumbled in the door and laid unconscious covered in blood. He wouldn't stop pacing. We were afraid the doctors were going to sedate him because he wouldn't stop. Luckily, he got tired and sat down. Ended up falling asleep." I scoffed. "Why are you telling me this, Lance? Do you have some sort of crush on me too?" He started laughing. I stood there confused. "Haha! No, I don't have a crush on you, Sierra. I like you as a friend. As you may not know, I'm gay." I stood there bewildered. "Oh. That makes so much sense now. Wait with who?" He sighed. "He's gone sadly. He was with you. On that mission. His name was Brandon. When you returned without the team, I worried for him. Then I saw all the bloody tags. I knew he was dead then. I didn't know that would be the last time I'd see him when he left for the mission."

I fell to my knees. "Oh, my goodness. I am responsible for your lover's death." Lance rushed and picked me back up. "No no no. It wasn't your fault, Sierra. Just that he wasn't meant to live in that moment. He isn't here anymore, but he still lives on in my heart. In all of our hearts." Tears ran down my face. "Get out." Lance stood puzzled. "I'm sorry what?" I yelled louder. "Get out! Leave me alone, Lance. You have a mission tomorrow. Get back to bed. I'm done talking." Lance understood and walked back to his bunk. I was frustrated, I was responsible for the death of all my comrades. And now his love?! It was my fault the mission didn't succeed. I should've died with them. Why didn't I?

I continued to get undressed to finish showering. All I could think about was that moment. The moment my teammates were killed. I was frozen in fear and I did nothing to help them. I was a failure as a soldier. I punched the wall hard. I saw the blood trickle down the wall. I pulled back my fist seeing my hand covered in blood. I washed the wound and finished my shower. Before going to bed, I decided to go outside for some fresh air. I stared at that moon as I always do. No matter where I go, that moon seems to follow me wherever I go. It was there the day I fell into the black water, the day I sat on the roof, and the eyes of the enemy. They were so pale and white. Like a day of the winter solstice. No matter what, I had to see him again. Make him pay for killing my comrades. One way or another, I was going to find him. When I see him, only one of us will live. The other one will die. It's not gonna be me.