The Boy From Everywhere

Ch. 16: The Guilt

I thought everything was going so well lately. I was really sure that that was the case, so why...

How did we end up here?

"Eli–"

"I'm sorry, I'm actually really busy right now. We can talk another time, but please do feel free to take a seat at the tables. I'll be with you soon enough!"

I stood back, flabbergasted by the way Eli just brushed me off while he rushed to get things done in the library. This wasn't normal. His colleagues weren't even working as hard as he's doing, so why was he suddenly acting like this?

... Did something happen?

"Eli, wait!"

He rushed off again, disappearing among the bookshelves and leaving me standing with no one else to talk to.

Just what was going on?

Well, maybe... Just maybe... I think I know. I did wrong insisting that we go out the last time we saw each other. I didn't know his work mattered that much to him. But still... This is a bit too much, isn't it?

"... Eli!"

I went after him again, just as I saw him rush past the bookshelves again. The shelves towered over me as I went in. Eli seemed too far away all of a sudden, like I wasn't meant to go after him this time and that I was supposed to lose him. But I caught up, eventually. When I reached him, he stood on a ladder, putting books back onto the higher shelves. The look on his face was highly focused, but it still bothered me not knowing how restless he actually felt.

He finished putting back the batch he had up on that ladder with him eventually, and then he turned and looked down on a trolley beside the ladder. However, he soon paused when he realized how far down the trolley was, and I tilted my head and sighed at him before I walked over to the trolley.

"O-oh, Hannah, you don't really have to-"

I didn't listen to him as I looked over the books. "Which ones are you putting up?"

Once again, he paused. I looked back up at him a second later to see him looking away awkwardly with his hand on his nape. "Uhm... The one on the... upper right... Thanks."

I couldn't help but breathe out a chuckle as I looked at him. It really is odd seeing him be the awkward one. Still, I guess I owe him one. I'll just help him as much as I can today. "Here," I picked up the batch of books and held it up for him to take.

He held his hands out to take them, pausing again for a second before eventually taking the books. I flinched when his hands accidentally touched mine. I think he did, too, but I can't be sure, but he took the books and then he brought them up and placed them on the ladder before continuing his work.

I watched him for a few more seconds before I went to the other side of the trolley and leaned against the bookshelf. "So..."

"Sorry," Eli beat me to apologizing. My eyes widened and I looked back at him, but he kept going on with his work, keeping his eyes on the bookshelf as he continued speaking. "I know I have a lot to explain. I should be telling you a few things at least so you'd understand... I promise I'll tell you eventually."

And I thought I was the only cautious one between the both of us. I guess, he, too, had his secrets. I probably should have known that considering his strange actions and circumstances, but he always smiled and joked so much, I just never really realized he could actually be hiding something.

"I'm sorry, too," I eventually apologized back. "I shouldn't have insisted on it so much when you already said 'no' several times before. I'll try to listen to you more from now on."

Silence, for several seconds. Eli continued working, and I let my eyes wander around the library, observing the structure of the shelves, the banisters from the second floor, the reading area, and then Eli spoke again.

"Actually... I really enjoyed that time we went out. If I could, I'd like to do it again." I looked back up at him again, and this time, he smiled before looking back at me. That usual smile of his, the one that could light up the whole world. "Let's do it again sometime, Hannah! Let's go out again soon."

A date... Wait why am I even thinking like that again?!

I blinked several time as if that would get rid of the thought, and then I smiled awkwardly at Eli before another thought occured to me.

"There's another guy??"

Now that we're starting to become honest with each other, I might as well just tell him the truth about that, right?

"There's something I have to confess, too." Almost immediately, I felt Eli's wide eyes on me. I sighed and rolled my eyes before replying with a sly smile. A second later, though, and I suddenly felt awkward as I spoke. "Well... So you remember the person I said is often the topic of my journal? It's actually me cursing my aunt in the pages... Not another guy."

"Wait, really?!" Eli asked aloud, earning shushes all over again. He grimaced and ducked in response before he looked back at me, smiling nervously.

I just breathed out a laugh again at his reaction, before smiling myself.

Looks like he's back to his usual self. That's a relief.