The Boy From Everywhere

Ch. 18: The Heart

On a rainy night in some random convenience store, I realized that I had fallen for the only person I had as a companion.

"Oh, no. Why would you do this?"

But was there really anything I could do about it? Frankly speaking, I never really learned how to control these types of feelings. After all, I never got them much, but when I did... Oh, I definitely always got them like a truck hitting me in the middle of the street.

"Ugh, this is stupid," I muttered to myself as I looked away from Eli, looking outside instead as I willed my heart to calm down. The weather still gave no hopes that I would ever be able to get home dry. As I propped my chin on my arm while watching the rain fall, I sighed as I struggled to get my thoughts together. "Oh, I really hope I don't get caught when I just started..."

I still have a long way to go, after all. I'm yet to receive my first ever paycheck. I'm yet to experience what it feels like to have a part-time job... I'm yet to know more about Eli, who he is, what are his secrets... I'm yet to get comfortable enough with him to the point we won't be afraid to share our darkest secrets and deepest pains.

I turned back to him again as I thought about that. In the end, I couldn't really stop myself from smiling as I watched him, ever so peaceful as he slept.

I chuckled as I recalled all those times I worried while seeing the way he slept. It really is odd, but I guess that's just Eli. He's always been the best kind of odd.

~•~

"Do you like to read books, too? Is that why you also work in a library?"

"Well... Kinda. But I also took up this job because the tasks aren't too complicated. You know... not too much thinking stuff." Eli giggled as he explained, sitting so casually on the ladder while pausing at his work. I felt my heart turning warm at just that gesture, and I fought to keep my smile from sprouting out too soon as I asked another question.

"What kind of books do you to read? Is there a specific genre you prefer?"

Eli held his finger up as he looked at me from the shelves he was arranging. His eyes sparkled, and I felt mine widen as I worried if my pupils might have dilated a bit too much. "Romance! I think, since we're still high school students, we ought to at least feel the thrill of romance even in the things we read or watch if we can't have them in real life."

"Well, I'm definitely feeling the thrill of romance now that I'm here with you." The thought came to my mind, before I quickly shook it and proceeded to comment on Eli's response. "You sure have a lot of love in you, don't you?" I meant it, as a sort of a casual comment, but looking back at Eli, he seemed to have taken it seriously.

His smile had turned calm, though his eyes remained smiling as he tilted his head to the side and asked with a genuine tone. "Really? You think so, Hannah?"

I think he really wanted to know.

"... Of course. I mean, you literally offered me your umbrella the first time we met even though you didn't have an extra one. Not to mention, you helped me get a job without even knowing if I'll actually be competent for it."

"I mean, technically, you don't really need competency if you're gonna work at a convenience store..."

"And you're still here."

"... Hmm?" Eli turned to me, and I smiled, a laugh escaping me as I found myself suddenly so easily expressing how happy I am to have him.

"You never completely ran away from me or pretended we had never met, despite everything I had said and done." I chuckled awkwardly. "You forgave me so easily... when I couldn't do that for myself..."

Which was true. Eli forgave me faster than I had ever done for myself or for anybody.

"So, I really, really find it amazing that you have so much love in you."

By the time I had finished what might have turned out to be a speech from me, Eli was looking at me wide-eyed, and I wondered if I had said too much all over again. What if he really ignores me now after what I just said? Was I getting too comfortable with him?

And then, Eli fell off the ladder. "Gah!"

"Eli!" I ran to him, like I could help in anyway. Thankfully, he managed to keep himself from falling all the way down as he held himself up from one of the rungs. By the time he did, I had reached him, and as we looked at each other, I realized just how close I had really gotten to him.

"Too... close..."

My eyes widened even more, and so did his, as he stood there frozen in this awkward situation.

"... What now?"

Eli broke the silence first. "Uhm... I don't... I don't know how to get out of this..." Ever so honest.

But, on the other hand, I...

"... W-well... I don't... either..."

My heart was pounding too hard in my chest at this point. Every single part of me was begging to move away, but I just didn't want to.

"Wait, no. What am I thinking?!"

I took a step back, finally widening the gap in between us and giving us both space to breathe. We both took it at the same time, all while I turned away while my face slowly rose in temperature. My hand went up to my nape shortly after, and I found myself fighting back a smile I really shouldn't be showing.

It was a fight I was obviously losing in.

"I-I'm gonna go back to my table!" I exclaimed eventually, running off before I could even hear Eli's response. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't let him see how flustered I had become.

I gasped, letting out a deep breath as I reached the table where I had left my things. Feeling my face, I pursed my lips as I realized they were still hot, and then I panicked even more when I found that my lips still wouldn't stop smiling nor would my heart stop pounding.

"Ugh!" I grunted, falling onto the table and hiding my face. "Seriously, what is wrong with me?"

I couldn't even hear anything anymore. My heart pounded too loudly in my ears, and the silence of the library didn't help. I was stuck with my beating heart... and my rapidly growing feelings for Eli.

When did this even start? Why would I– Why when I literally– Why– Why– W-why him??

... But I knew the answer to that last question... didn't I?

The reason why I've started to like Eli... is because I've begun to just feel way too safe and comfortable with him.

"... I'm doomed, aren't I?"