Little thing

One

Have you ever felt like someone was watching you? Hiding somewhere within the tree lines, secretly observing your every move? Waiting, but for what?

Have you ever stood in line waiting to ring up your items while a group of people talk behind you. Of course their words are too muted and muffled for you to understand, yet you still think they must be speaking about you?

If you have, or experienced anything similar to this then you have a slight idea of what it's like inside my mind on a daily basis.

My name is Stella Morello, I'm 21 years old and live in small studio apartment in north Las Vegas, I have a decent job and by decent I mean it pays the bills and keeps me fed, but the environment was enough to make nearly anyone quit.

I cannot afford to quit so for now I deal with the tumultuous environment. I graduated high school about three years ago and soon after my parents kicked me out claiming it was time to be an adult and have my own things.

I know it's really because of my diagnosis, I have borderline personality disorder and with it comes a lot of bad days. Good days too don't get me wrong but let's just say I didn't make things very easy for my parents growing up.

In and out of psychiatric hospitals instead of being in school. It made things hard academically, not being around enough to understand the material. To be honest I'm not sure how I graduated my last two years of school were strictly online and I hardly did any work.

Being eighteen and on the streets wasn't fun, I spent a lot of drunken nights crashing at friends or wherever I happened to blackout at. This of course led to more than one undesirable experience, and it was around the third time I decided to get my life together.

Get a place of my own and get a job, I still drink nearly every night and I'm never going to pretend that I make good decisions, but I have a place to stay and that's important to me right now.

I don't really hang out with the same friends as before and because of that I'm usually at home watching tv or reading until it's time for work. Speaking of which I have to begin getting ready soon and that thought alone fills me with dread.

~•~

Soon enough I was in uniform and on my way to work, another grueling 10 hour shift at the paper factory, I know how it sounds but my work was easy and repetitive. Move one stack of paper to another and so on, all day, for ten hours.

I walk for about an hour before I arrive at the door. Once there I quickly begin clocking in, I flash my card at the security man, Harry and after a brief wave I'm allowed through.

I hurry to my station and slip on my gloves ready to begin yet another race around the rat trap. Slowly reaching for a stack I'm interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.

Turning around to face my friend, Alicia I greet her with a smile.

"Hey Alicia how are you today?" I ask trying to cover the frustration in my tone.

"Hi Stella, I'm doing good now that you're here, I was a bit worried you wouldn't be coming in today." She admits.

At this I grow confused, I've had the same schedule for well over five months now I see no reason I wouldn't be here.

"What do you mean Alicia I'm here every Thursday?" I ask trying to not sound too harsh.

"Well if you don't know then it really isn't my place to say, just a whisper in the wind really, don't think too much about it."

Before I could reply a loud whistle rang out signaling the start of yet another day, cutting our conversation short. I side eye her silently letting her know the conversation was far from over.