Shit (a journal)

11-8-24

Today is the start of waking up before seven.

Which means, today I woke up at 6:30.

Which means. I'm half a sleep today

Which I don't get, because last week I had to wake up before 8am, and I would wake up at 7am and play on my phone a bit before getting dressed.

Today? I woke up at 3am, thinking it was past 6am.

I picked up my phone, didn't check the time and tried to go to Wattpad, but I was met with the Downtime is on screen.

I was confused. I'm awake like a normal day at seven am, still a bit tired, but enough to do shit.

I check the time. 3:15am.

I whisper, "fuck." Before putting my phone back and falling asleep again.

I had two dreams that I remember from last night. Both are from after three am.

First dream:

I smiled as my mom told me my cousin's were gonna be here today.

Then I frowned. They're much older than me, and a few years, and they grew out of the things I like to do.

I waited till they showed up, really excited I was gonna see them.

It's been a few years, and we haven't seen eachother since (I'm gonna give them fake names for privacy reasons) Kurt and Lana's graduation. They're both around the same age, only a few months apart.

Kurt and I used to hangout with eachother all the fucking time. We were inseparable. Cousin besties for life.

Well, that was until my brother's graduation.

That was in 2024, and Kurt and I were playing a couple games, being us.

That until he went on YouTube shorts.

He was glued to his phone no matter what.

I was a bit pissed off.

"We're here!" I heard Lana's voice.

My eyes lit up. Lana! Oh Lana.

She used to be the best, I don't know what happened. Last I checked, she's emo as fuck. I'm here for it, but she doesn't like to talk or eat so that's a bit of a no no.

She walked over to where I was standing.

She smiled and she lead me to the a chair, and said "Sit! I have a surprise for you!"

I sat down, feeling a bit wary for some reason.

She came back, box in hand.

She handed it to me, and I opened it.

Right when I was about to look what was inside, one of my other cousins came up to me. Waitz they looked different.

"Yo!" They're voice sounded a lot like- "it's been awhile! You graduating soon, or something?"

"Yeah, that's one of the reasons why y'all are here, fu-" I answered.

"Yeah... MOM?" they called out.

"What?"

"Why're we here for an entire month?"

"Because, you haven't seen your cousins in ages, Kurt!"

"Mom, I told you that ain't my name no more." Kurt sighed as he turned around.

"Sorry about her. I'm Reece, they/he."

I gave them a questioning look. Kur- Reece? Damn they have changed a lot appearance wise.

I guess being 21 changes you.

They're hair flopped to the other side. "Fuck." They mumbled as they tried to fix their hair.

I looked over at Lana. "It's gonna be Leo for awhile again, just seeing how I feel with that shit. She/he though. You can use either one on me, she/her or he/him."

Leo? Damn everyone's changed.

"Where's the rest of them?" I asked.

"J is out with his girlfriend, and Cinc is out with no one actually."

J and Cinc?

"Yeah, that's their nicknames on my end. Y'all can do the same."Leo smiled.

Reece sat down, their jacket getting caught on the chair.

He looked at me, his eyes with a look of what-the-fuck-do-you-want?

Damn.

They picked up a piece of paper and started drawing.

Leo went to the other side and sat there.

Leo, he's the type of person to be drawing, and have one ha d with another pencil, but he would be pressing it down like he's mad or something.

He chuckled, and said, "Reece here does that."

Reece, which I did not know, is left handed and grabbed MY pencil and put it in a cup and pressed really hard on it while they drew.

I rolled my eyes as I grabbed another pencil, and started drawing.

After a few minutes, I was doing something for my art, I don't know what, and my finger tips were a bit sticky.

(I SERIOUSLY DP NOT REMEMBER WHAT I WAS DOING. BUT IM PRETTY SURE NOTHING INAPPROPRIATE!)

I place my hand on a piece of paper, and when I went to move my hand, I simply couldn't.

I ended up nearly ripping the paper to get my fingers off of it.

I didn't know what to do, but Leo did.

He grabbed some toothpaste that was just sitting there and out some on my fingers

"I don't think this is gonna work." I say.

He wiped it off and told me to go wash my hands.

I washed them, right there. I don't k so how or why, there was a sink there.

My fingers were still sticky.

"I know what'll work! Good ole

"Are you sure?" Reece questioned.

I nodded my head and went to go ask my mom if we had any.

She shook her head and said, "let's go, I'll buy some."

I went with her in this journey.

Soon, we were out of the car and In a line to go to 7/11 for some reason. 7/11 won't have

This guy was checking the lines, making sure people had the right... Opinions on things? What?

He completely glossed over my mom and cousins, and then nearly glossed over me before I said,

"I just want all the kids to be free."

Free from what? What? What am I saying?

At that point, I had forgotten my say in whatever this was.

The guy stopped. "So, you don't want your mom to hold things for you?"

Heya the fuck does holding things for me have to do with anything?

People started throwing shit at me, like roses, tomatoes, onions, and so much more.

What did I do wrong?

Soon, we made it to the house.

The house that was doing the estate sale.

I sat down on the stairs thingy, and this kid was watching something, and kept on showing me.

And soon, I was teleported back at home and I was chewing gum, that was actually toothpaste....

Ok, so that dream was a bit weird.

Uhm ok bye!!!