𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄

Chapter Ten

I had woken up to my head laid on someone else's chest instead of a couch arm chair. The scent was strong and musky like they just took a shower or something. The fire that was once lively was now gone. I move my head up and see Azeil asleep with his head leaned back showing off his stubble. His hand was rested on my shoulder while his other arm was sprawled out beside him. I move away from him slowly in order to not wake him by accident. He looked quite peaceful when he was sleeping, however he's the devil in disguise when he's awake.

He was a comfortable presence to be around, I'll admit it. The cold glass window rattles from time to time due to the wind rattling against: banging to come in. I almost clear my parched throat but stopped due to Azeil sleeping peacefully next to me. My throat was most likely dry from all the crying I had done. I shiver slightly thinking about it. It was something best left in the past. The window rattles again.

He didn't notice me get up from my position to get nearer the window. It was the beginning of winter in New York which meant crazy cold fronts and blistering blizzards. I slightly jolt away from the piercing cold window when I lightly touch it. The sky was a darkish gray as the night settles in. My birthday was a couple of weeks ahead from us; it's not as exciting as I think it would be. The only thing I want for my birthday is to just embrace my grandpa again. I want to cry in his arms, I want to be swept away with him. I want to see him.

A painful lump stirs in the back of my throat but no amount of swallowing could make it disappear. I didn't want to cry and wake Azeil up. And... I just didn't want to cry. I took a deep inhale through my nose and let my emotions run out in my exhale.

"I don't want you to need me .... I want you to trust me"

But if I trust you Azeil... will there be any room for gramps?

"You're not cold?", Azeil asks while stretching. I didn't even notice he was awake, more importantly I didn't notice how long he had been awake.

"Uh, no not really. Did I wake you?" Did you see me almost break down in front of you?

"No, you didn't," he responds. I nod and stay in my spot looking back out through the window and watch as the trees bend submissively under the wind. A minute of silence catches up to us. I was even thinking of anything important, I just didn't want to look at Azeil to see if he was watching me or not. Maybe analyzing is a better term for it.

"How do you feel?" He asked me. I look toward him with an underlying confused expression behind my neutral face.

I shrug, "I still feel sore and some parts of my butt stings, but it's nothing I can't handle." It was a lie, but entire butt still felt on fire and the thick window sill I was the only thing that was providing a cool sensation to my hot ass.

"I know that, but that's not what I'm asking you. How do you feel." He crosses his arms and tilts his head a little bit. I can tell he's trying to analyze me again. I knew what he meant the first time I just didn't feel like sharing to him. I still don't feel like sharing much to him. I just shrug: not bothering to look at him.

"Feel like I got hit with a truck -I guess." Yawning a bit and rubbing my eyes, I respond to his question with a dejected tone.

"And that's how you really feel?" He pushed.

"Yes -that's how I really feel," I shrug again. A moment of silence hushed over both of us. I looked down at my hands and picked at my fingernails. The only thing that could be heard was the howling wind. He was giving me time to rethink my decision.

"Alright, I have some documents I need to fill out for your school," He got up from the dark chocolate couch and walked over to his wooden desk, "So I'll be here if you need me, okay?" He asked.