Darling Mine

Shadows (Elsie)

CW: Suicidal thoughts and blood/injury. This gets dark, please don't read if triggering. No story is worth your health x

When I was a child, I used to have a nightmare. I was in the woods near our house. It was dark. Dark enough that only the whispering of the wind in the branches above my head alerted me to their presence. I knew, in that dream, this was the end. That something old was in those woods, and I would need to run, and that would not be enough to save me. I could still remember the suffocating fear and the dark and the loneliness and sense of death. It would always wake me up. Then there would be my family sleeping around me. And I would lie through the night, fearful to go back to the dark.

When I woke up the next morning it was to silence and shadows. For a moment I was confused. This was not the dormitory. Then I remembered. The fire. The hall. 

The prince.

I knew I was probably already late. I didn't want to think about the consequences of that. Nothing good would come of it.

There was a jug of water, chipped and blue, next to the chest. I must have been too tired to notice it last night. Quickly, I got out of bed, pulling the blanket straight after. The water was cold, but at least it was clean. It was a relief to scrub some of the sweat and ash off. Even if it was a pointless gesture. No amount of scrubbing would ever make me clean again. I was stained red, red as the grey stone.

Not now.

In the chest was a uniform, different to my old one. A simple black dress. Linen. A pair of black shoes that rubbed as much as the old pair. I found a length of string and pulled my hair back into a bun. No point having it drip everywhere. I doubt the prince would appreciate droplets across his room. 

That was almost enough reason to let my hair down. 

No. I needed to please him. Make him trust me. I wasn't sure if it was possible but it was worth a try. I would end up dead either way. Might as well make some use of that fact.

It was liberating in a way. Knowing they would take my life one day. It took away my fear. What worse could they do? It wasn't like I had much left to lose. I knew from the moment my name was called in that square I would most likely die in these walls. So, let them do their worst. I deserved it.

The walk to the door was hard. My limbs were stiff. Slow to respond.

The key. It was tucked into a pocket in my dress. I made sure to lock the door behind me. There was probably a master key for all our doors, but that little piece of metal gave me the illusion of control. It was something I appreciated having in that moment.

The prince's room was the next along. Only a few seconds walk through that red corridor. Nobody had told me what I was meant to do. I knocked, a slight thud of wood. There was no response.

Taking that as a sign the prince was somewhere else, I opened the door. Stepping through, the room beyond still felt cold. Last night he had said I would be responsible for all the tasks in here. There didn't appear to be any instructions or a pile of washing for me to deal with. Might as well start with cleaning then.

It took me a while to find the cleaning supplies. His rooms consisted of a main parlour, a bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen. The last room was different, with no furnishings, just plain white tiles. A room just for me. 

A cupboard to the right contained a range of cleaning equipment. I recalled our old kitchen, my mother's back seizing up after scrubbing it before the tax collectors came. Not that they seemed to have cared when they arrived. They would probably have taken everything even if there was an inch of dust and mud. A sign of power. That's what all this was. A reminder of how little we had. How little we deserved.

I decided to start in the parlour. For some reason, it seemed safer than the other rooms. More open. I couldn't stand the thought of being locked in with him. 

No. Breath. Focus. 

The metal handle of the brush was cold. It dug into my hand. I focused on the bite of it. Down into my soul and dragging me back to the present. 

Cleaning. Yes. I was cleaning his quarters.

The parlour was surprisingly clean. Had somebody been in here recently? Did the prince have another personal? After all, the Choosing Ceremony was well over a month ago. All that time I had been working in the laundry. Gods, time was strange here. Hours would pass in a blink and then horror would freeze you for days.

Now I was curious. Who worked for the prince? How many women had been stolen away to serve under the merciless gaze of his cold, cold eyes? Too many no doubt. Two hundred from every community in the kingdom.

My father once told me the origins of the vampire kingdom. It was a time of darkness and blood. Creatures crept out of the dark and stole the light from the world. I always wondered how he knew that story. If it was even real or had he been saying it to comfort me. At least we knew the horror we faced. Those past humans had no idea. They thought they could rise up. Stop them. We were such idiots. 

Not that I was any better.

It did not take me long to wipe all the surfaces, already gleaming and free of dust. Frozen in a constant state of perfection. It was so stifling. I wanted to scream. But no, I had a job to do. Wasn't I lucky?

I moved on to the bedroom, with its cold hearth and dripping red covers on the bed. They were rumpled. Might as well straighten them out. After all, it wouldn't do for the prince to see the mess he made. No, there weren't any consequences for their actions. It was always us fragile, meaningless humans that paid the price.

As I finished pulling back the covers the door swung open gently on its hinges. There was no thunderous bang or wail of unoiled hinges. Rather an atmosphere of silence settled across the room. He was back.

His shoes, polished so I could see the lights reflected on them, walked in. Pushed the door closed. 

"Your Highness," I said, curtseying. Bloody monster. 

He walked forward. No, stalked. There was something predatory in the way he moved.

"Ah, I see you remembered your chores. Good, good." He was so close his breath brushed my neck. I froze. Inside I was cowering. He was too close. Far, far too close. Oh, gods please get him away.

He chuckled. 

"You know, I can hear your heart, trilling away."

Ice crept up my spine. I hardly dared to breathe.

"Now, another of your duties. I'm feeling a bit peckish, so be a dear and come closer." 

No no no no. This couldn't be happening.

A cold hand stroked my cheek. 

"No? Well then." He leaned closer. I was frozen, screaming inside my head. "I prefer it this way, to be honest, dearie."

His breath was on my neck. Still, I couldn't move. Stupid human body and human fear. I wish I had the strength to tear away, but I couldn't. I was trapped in my head staring out as the monster drew closer.

He was quick. That was all I could think. A sharp pinch, and then fire rushed through my veins. Gods it burned. I bit my lip, holding back a cry. He may have taken my blood but he would get nothing more from me. The pain didn't fade, running on and on without end. My vision blurred, from tears or blood loss I couldn't tell.

And still, he kept going. I felt myself slipping away as he took more and more. Some part of me felt untethered, fleeing all the pain and loss. Drifting far, far away.

I felt the moment he took too much. My vision flickered black, the room swaying out of focus. My hands and feet grew cold, ice licking up my veins as the shadows crept ever closer. Shadows and ice. Shadows and ice. That was all I could think of. My soul was thick with them.

It was too much. I couldn't fight this anymore. Let them win. At least then I could finally rest, away from nightmares and blood. Just, let it end. 

So, I stopped. And as the inky dark shadows pulled down over my eye like a heavy blanket I thought, at least there would be peace. At least the death and guilt would stop.