A Court of Chaos and Confusion - An ACOTAR Rewrite

Chapter 37

TW: Sexual Assault 

It was a party like any other – even if it would likely be my last. Faeries drank and lounged and danced, laughing and singing bawdy and ethereal songs. No glimmer of anticipation for what might occur tomorrow – what I stood to alter for them, for their world. Perhaps they knew I would die, too.

I lurked by a wall, forgotten by the crowd, waiting for Rhysand to beckon me to drink the wine and dance or sing or do whatever it was he wished of me. I was clothed in my typical attire, tattooed from the neck down with that blue-black paint. Tonight my gossamer gown was a shade of sunset pink, the color too bright and feminine against the whorls of paint on my skin. Too cheery for what awaited me tomorrow.

Rhysand was taking longer than usual to summon me – though it was probably because of the supple-bodied faerie perched in his lap, caressing his hair with her long greenish fingers. He'd tire of her soon.

I didn't bother to look at Amarantha. I was better off pretending she wasn't there. Lucien never spoke to me in public, and Tamlin... it had become difficult to look at him in recent days.

I just wanted it done. I wanted that wine to carry me through this last night and bring me to my fate. I was so intent on anticipating Rhysand's order to serve him that I didn't notice that someone stood beside me until the heat from their body leaked onto mine.

I went rigid when I smelled that rain and earthen scent, and didn't dare to turn to Tamlin. We stood side by side, staring out at the crowd, as still and unnoticeable as statues.

His fingers brushed my tattooed fingers and I worked to remain still, unaffected. Those claws had stayed retracted thus far, but I had been marked and claimed by another High Lord in a rival court, and Tamlin didn't seem like the type to share when he deemed someone as his. Even if that claim was being misconstrued by everyone to keep Lucien protected.

I kept my face a mask of cold. He dropped his hand, and, as quickly as he had come, he sauntered off, weaving through the crowd. It was only when he glanced over his shoulder and inclined his head ever so slightly that I understood.

My heart beat faster than it ever had during the trials, and I made myself look as bored as possible before I pushed off the wall and casually strolled after him. I cast a glance toward Rhysand and knew he'd be looking for me soon, but Tamlin could still steal a few precious moments and finally let me in on his plan. I took a different route but headed toward the small door half hidden by a tapestry near which he lingered.

I could scarcely breathe as I moved nearer and nearer to the door, past Amarantha's dais, past a group of giggling faeries... Tamlin disappeared through the door as quick as lightning, and I slowed my steps to a meandering pace. These days no one really paid attention to me until I became Rhys's drugged performer. All too quickly, the door was before me, and it swung open noiselessly to let me in.

Would he kill me for the bargain? Despite everything I'd done for them, had this final foolish decision been the one that made him decide I was no longer worth the trouble? Perhaps his silence in all of this was due to his siding with Amarantha and he didn't even want my help. Who was I, some insignificant human, to think a High Lord could possibly want or even need help from the likes of me?

Darkness encompassed me. I saw only a flash of green and gold before the warmth of Tamlin's body slammed into me and his lips crushed roughly against mine.

Would those claws shred me to pieces, I wondered as he crushed his hot skin to my exposed flesh. He grasped my breast and pushed me roughly against the icy wall and my mind reeled.

He tore his lips from mine and bit my neck – bit it as he had on Calanmai – and I realized this had to be my punishment for embarrassing him, or perhaps for ruining his, Lucien's, and Rhys's attempt to keep me safe by sacrificing that human girl in my place.