Setting: Jack and Max's apartment, late afternoon. The place is a mess after a failed attempt at cooking dinner together. Pots and pans are scattered everywhere, and a burnt smell lingers in the air. Jack and Max are standing in the middle of the chaos, glaring at each other after a heated argument over whose cooking skills are worse. The tension is thick, but it's clear they're both ready to turn it into a full-on roast battle.*
Jack (arms crossed, smirking): You really thought you could cook? Max, the only thing you're good at making is a mess. If we relied on your cooking, we'd be eating charcoal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Max (rolling his eyes, firing back): Oh, please, Jack. You're one to talk! The last time you tried to make pasta, you boiled water for an hour and then forgot to add the noodles! We ended up with pasta-flavored steam!
Jack (sarcastic): Oh yeah? At least I know how to boil water! When you tried to make toast, you somehow managed to set the toaster on fire! Who even does that?
Max (laughing): I was just trying to add a little extra flavor, Jack. You wouldn't know about that because everything you cook tastes like cardboard. Even the dog wouldn't eat your "famous" casserole, and he eats socks!
Jack (mock hurt): First of all, that casserole was experimental. I'm an artist, Max! Second, the dog has bad taste—he likes you, after all.
Max (mocking): Oh, right, Mr. "I'm an artist." You're a regular Picasso... if Picasso painted with expired mayonnaise and thought paprika was a main ingredient in every dish!
Jack (laughing): And you, Mr. "I'll just wing it," are a culinary genius in an alternate universe where burnt popcorn is a delicacy. Seriously, Max, I've seen you ruin instant noodles. INSTANT. NOODLES.
Max (grinning): Oh yeah? At least I'm not afraid to experiment! You're so stuck in your ways, I bet your idea of seasoning is just adding more salt. Wait, no, you think ketchup is spicy!
Jack (mock offended): First of all, ketchup has a tang to it! Second, at least I don't think that sprinkling Doritos crumbs on top of mac and cheese counts as "gourmet."
Max (smirking): Well, it's still better than your "specialty" dish—microwaved leftovers with a side of whatever you can find in the back of the fridge. Seriously, Jack, that thing had its own ecosystem.
Jack (laughing, pointing at Max): And you, the guy who once tried to "fancy up" ramen by adding gummy bears because you thought it would be a "sweet and savory" experience. Max, that was a crime against humanity—and candy!
Max (doubling over in laughter): Okay, okay, but at least I don't think a PB&J sandwich counts as "cooking dinner"! Jack, that's the culinary equivalent of drawing stick figures and calling it art!
Jack (mock serious): PB&J is a classic, Max. But you? You're the only person I know who would put peanut butter on pizza and call it "fusion cuisine." You're a fusion of bad decisions!
Max (wiping tears of laughter from his eyes): You know what, Jack? You're right. We're both terrible cooks. But at least we've got each other to blame for it!
Jack (smiling): Yeah, and for that burnt smell that's going to be stuck in here for days. But hey, at least we've perfected the art of the kitchen disaster.
Max (grinning): And the art of roasting each other. We should open a restaurant—call it "Burnt and Roasted." We'll serve nothing but overcooked food and a side of insults.
Jack (laughing): I think we'd go bankrupt in a week. But hey, at least we'd have fun doing it.
Max (pretending to be thoughtful): Yeah, and we'd finally have a reason to order takeout every night. We're not bad cooks, Jack—we're just keeping the local restaurants in business.
Jack (smirking): That's right. We're heroes, Max. Culinary heroes... who should probably never, ever try to cook again.
Max (raising an imaginary glass): To never cooking again!
Jack (raising his own imaginary glass): And to never running out of takeout menus.
(They both laugh, the argument completely forgotten as they high-five and collapse on the couch, still chuckling over their mutual roasting.)
YOU ARE READING
Double Trouble
Humor"Double Trouble" follows the misadventures of twin brothers, Max and Jack, who are identical in more ways than one. Both broke and with dreams of becoming Hollywood's next big stars, they decide the best way to survive the grind is to live together...
