Forbidden Fruit

15

'Thou shall not waste your time
Thou shall not make you cry
But I did
I was wrong and I'm hating it'

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1 Week Later
East Harlem, Manhattan
Belcalis Almanzar

I sit on the sofa blankly staring at the baseball game taking sips of my corona here and there but my mind wasn't even in the room, I had so many thoughts running through my head.

"Damn you fucked up about her?" Cel plops down next to me with a plate full of jerk wings.

"Fucked up not even the words, I'm sick to my fucking stomach" I take a wing off his plate.

"I'ma let you slide this one time cause I see you going through something" He says picking up a wing himself.

"Why don't you just call her?" Star suggests sitting on the other side of me with a plate full of food.

I didn't even have an appetite but the food was smelling mad good.

"I been trying to be respectful giving her space, knowing her she probably feeling like fuck me" I sigh resting my head on the back of the sofa taking a bite out of the wing.

I wanted to reach out so bad but I didn't even know how to get up with her, she made it clear blocking me on everything that she didn't want shit to do with me and I couldn't blame her.

"Yeah you definitely fucked up, but it's also like what are your intentions? You obviously care about her a lot but you also not built for the secret relationship shit and deep down you still feel guilty for even fucking with her so what's really going on?" Star asks the hard questions that I didn't really have the answers to, I just knew that with every second that passed I missed her more than the second before.

"I know Star, that's part of the reason why I even did the shit in the first place. We got a real bond and connection, I have real love for her, I care about her, and I don't feel the way I feel for her for nobody else but you're right a part of does feel this deep guilt cause our relationship directly affects that other bond" I verbalize what I was feeling inside as best I can.

"Why do you keep putting maise feelings before yours? Megan is a grown ass woman, nobody is making her do nothing she doesn't want to do. You need to just tell him and let him deal with whatever emotions by himself, that's his problem"

"Star it's easy to say that but me and him been running around together since they moved here, a decade bond and we been two peas in a fucking pod since day one. I don't know how to even initiate that conversation, the fuck am I supposed to say 'oh yeah and by the way I been laying up cracking ya sister'" I speak seriously as both her and cel laugh.

"I'm deadass, and I know it don't matter how I say it he's going to bug the fuck out and shit will never be the same regardless"

I knew Maise too well to think we could ever go forward as close friends after I did finally tell him everything, he was going to hate me for this shit and that honestly was ok with me because I wouldn't expect anything less from him, it just hurt knowing our bond was going to burn behind something so childish.

"Shit really don't have to be like that for real, it's not even that serious. Like Star said nobody making her do shit she don't want to, that nigga just mad overprotective but he's dumb if he thinks he can keep her from having relationships and shit" Cel adds.