The only one for me || Colby Brock

Part 1

(TW: Alcohol, drugs, sh)
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Clhoie's P.O.V

My family had never liked me. I have always been seen as the black sheep of my family, the one that always had to much attitude and always had to much to say.

My isusses startet early in my life, i think that i was around ten years old when i first started to feel depressed. I didn't think that this life was worth living, if all that was in it for me was feeling bad about myself. I talked to my parents about it, and around a year later i was diagnosed with depression and Schizophrenia.

Fast forward til i was twelve, and i got my first taste of alcohol. I stole a bottle of whisky from my parents and drank half of it in one sitting. I still remember that feeling, the first time i felt at ease in two years. All the happiness that you could get from just one drink was amazing.

And ever since then i haven't been sober for more then a few days in a row. I was in love, and not just with alcohol. I would take everything that comes my way, just to feel something else then my actually feelings.

Then when i was fifteen my parents caught me with a bottle of vodka, alone in my room. They snooped around some more and found my whole stash of alcohol and drugs. I was sent into a mental hospital for around two years, while i was in there my parents found out i had been self harming. Alot.

All the hospital did was giving me alot of different pills til the point i couldn't feel a single thing anymore. I got out of the hospital with more trauma then i had before i went in.

As soon as i got out, it got worse then before. I started doing heavier drugs then before, and this time i couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop. My parents stoped talking to me, they didn't want anything to do with me, except my brother. He was always there for me.

My parents desided to pay for a rehab when i had just turned eighteen. They wanted me to turn my life around and learn to act like an actual adult.

After i got out i just kept doing the same things, just like before. I didn't wanna stop, i would rather fuck up my whole life then face the problems in my life. This time through, everyone left me. Even my brother. My best friend.

And now, when i was twenty tree, Sam and i haven't talked in four whole years, i missed him like hell. I hoped, or i knew, that this whole 'don't talk to her' thing was probebly my mothers idea. I knew Sam would never stoped talking to me if my mother wasn't in the picture. But it still hurt me.

After all, I still got a job tho, not a job i'm very proud of, but it was enough to pay my bills. I worked at a stripclub. I made around 10$-50$ a day. Depenting on how much i worked and if it was many people there of course. My manadger told me that the other girl got more money then me, and that it was becuse i was to skinny. Fucker.

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I could feel my consciousness being pulled out of the deep sleep that i was in, I rubbed my eyes to wake myself up. I opend my eyes and immediately closed them again, i think i almost got blinded by all the light coming from my window.

I sat up to face away from the window to open my eyes again, i could see all my clothes and old food all over my floor. I could say that i needed to clean but i knew that i wouldn't do it. I decided to get out of my bed and try to find some clothes that i could wear today.

I took a pair of green cargo shorts and a black t-shirt. While i stood there and got dressed, i could feel the headace from my hungover coming on.

I didn't have the energy to do my make up today, but i had gotten my lashes done a week ago so i didn't look like a complete mess.

I sat back down on my bed and thought about what i could do today. I turned around and reached for my phone on the nightstand, I ignored all of my notifications and started to scrool around on pintresed.

I sat there mindlessing scrooling until i saw a picture of a girl with dark blue hair. I looked at it for a long time and thought about it. I was actually getting kinda tierd of my black hair, maybe i could dye my hair today? I didn't have nothing better to do. It wasn't that big of a change, but enough to have something to live for. I guess.

I stood up and swaped the car keys from my desk and started heading twords my door, i sat down and got my converses on and headed outside. I got into my car and started to drive to the store, while i was driving i took out my phone to put on some music. I decided to listen to some $uicideboy$ becuse why not?

I parked my car outside of the mall and got out, started heading twords the entrce. When i got inside i took a cart and went staight into the haircoloure aisle. I took two bottels of bleache and 2 bottle of blue hair dye.

I started walking to the check out when i saw the vodka bottels stairing at me. I quickly got over there and grabbed one. I haven't been drunk this whole day, and i could feel myself getting into a bad mood.

I finally went into check out and started to walk outside, back to my car. I grabed my keys from my pocket and locked up my car, i sat down into the driverseat and put the shopping bags besides me. I was just about to start my car when i felt my phone vibrating in my backpocket. I laid the keys down again, and took out my phone to see who was calling me.

My eyes almosted popped out of my head when i saw the name written acrose of my phone.

"Sam❤️"

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