𝕷𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖆

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3 years ago

"Liliana are sure that you don't need to be taken to the hospital." the cops said to me while i was still in shock from the incident that just happened. No one knows i was the witness of my parents murder as a way of torture. No one knew that my uncle was the guy who brutally killed my parents as a way of taking me in fully. No one will be believe me anyways. I'm just a girl with dead parents. " Lili baby there you are." My uncle said while trying to fake comfort me. I just stood in place until the cops told us i will need to be taken for questioning. Everything was a blur at the moment. My uncle just stood there acting like he wasn't the one who killed them. No one will believe me because i suffer with Psychosis. I tried to tell my best friend about what he does to me. But she doesn't believe me because she thinks its my hallucinations episodes that i have. He will always tell me how one day he will get me all to himself. And today was the day i was all his now...Stuck in the loop of abuse and distress all the time. He will take away my meds. My will. My life. My virginity. I'm only 15 yet i had to endure all this pain for 7 years and more. when will it end.

when will it end...

Now

"ugh that was so beautifully perfect Liliana." My ballet instructor said while clapping excitedly. I smile grateful for her comments. I do a turning that ended up with the finish. Everyone starts clapping. " Thank you.." i whispered with happiness. I start walking to my bag to get my water bottle. "You know that she will never be as perfect as the girl who was first here." one of girls states while the other one laughs. I tilt my head and closed my eyes to see if it was just a hallucination from the thoughts that make me feel low. "Liliana?" i snapped my eyes quickly looking at the instructor daughter who called me. " I've been calling your name for the past 2 minutes. You okay?" she said looking at me but i look at the side of me where the two girls...

fuck..

not again. Not right now.

"Yeah I'm fine. Will you excuse me?" I start walking outside the studio quickly trying to breathe from the anxiety that creeped up on me. Why does it have to creep on me now..? The instructor daughter Ria started walking towards me while i smiled trying to hide the emotions i felt right now. " I was going to ask you if you wanted to go on a date with me..?" she spilled out while smiling at me. But i didn't feel anything towards her. Why can't she take the hint..? " I'm sorry but I'm very busy this whole month..." i said politely. I know i love women but she date's everyone in this whole town. i won't be next. And i felt like she was a big sister to me...

She looked at me in shocked that i rejected her. I knew this was coming as soon as she started acting like she owned me last week. " Do you know how much stuff i did for you? Do you know how much time i put into trying to know you but all you did is keep shit to yourself." she started saying with such disgust. i just sighed and kept quiet. "Will you excuse me. I need to get my bags.." i said opening the door and walking back inside the studio. "Liliana...where did you go?" My instructor said. " Just out to catch a breather Ms, Allard. I'm sorry it wont happen again." i said looking at her. 'If u don't keep eye contact she will hate you and abuse you.' my head began to speak. She just smiled and hugged me. " It's okay darling i was just worried." I am the youngest in the dance team. Sadly everyone loves to try and hang out with me. But i never really had the best experience outside of the studio..

I start grabbing my bags and saying goodbye to everyone. My next stop is to the library to just relax my mind. The door rings from the bells that hang from the door making people know someone came. "Hey Liliana!" The elderly woman said while helping take my coat off. "I'm fine with taking my coat by myself Ma.." i said. Yes i called her Ma because after many years of existing i didn't have a good mother to be with me. And now i have nun at all. But she is like one to me. "Your seat is not taken, its warm with hot chocolate and your favorite weekly book." she said while making smile. I thanked her and walked to the library lounge. Usually i am by myself but someone appeared in the end of the library which was strange because she does not look like the type to read..Well maybe she is just here to breathe. She has the phone next to her ear trying to speak silently in a different language. But she hasn't looked up once. weird...I like it.

I sit down and started to read silently with earphones on.

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