Lisa
I told the nursing staff I was staying late because Roseanne was an old friend from college. This would probably have aroused less suspicion if she was a slightly less attractive old friend from college.
I order in dinner from an Italian place down on MacArthur. As I pull the containers from the bag, I realize this feels a bit like a first date, and a bit like a night with someone I've known all my life. Her eyes are smokier than normal, her face flushed. If this was even a first date I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off her.
I place the first container on her bedside table and she raises her surprised face to mine. "Penne alla vodka is my favorite."
I'm swept by an unsettling feeling I might have already known this. So many things with her seem to be automatic, so ingrained they've become a part of me—the same way I can drive home without paying attention to where I am or type without looking at the keys. "Sorry I couldn't get us any wine to go with it, but I'm already getting enough of a side-eye from the front desk staff without providing alcohol to a patient."
She takes her first bite of pasta and groans, a sound that has me reacting in completely inappropriate ways. Before I can stop myself, I'm imagining hearing that noise with her beneath me, on top of me, with my head between her thighs. Thank Christ the bed rail blocks her view of my crotch. I shut my eyes for a moment, scrambling to think of a topic that doesn't involve her mouth or my dick. Ideally, a topic that references no body parts whatsoever. Nothing comes to mind.
"I guess this is the point where I'm going to have to tell Jaehyun and my mother about the tumor."
I set my fork down. At least the erection is gone. "You didn't tell them about the tumor yet at all?"
Roseanne exhales heavily, staring at her plate. "My mom would have worried, and...with Jaehyun, I was just being bratty, I guess."
"Bratty how?"
She shrugs. "After that last test I did, he kind of forgot to ask how it had gone. It wasn't a big deal but it made me feel...like an afterthought."
My hand flexes. She's got to be fucking kidding me. "How," I say, "could he not have asked?"
"I'm sure he just assumed things were fine."
Bullshit. If she were mine, I'd have been at the hospital when she was being discharged. I'd have tried to make her go home and rest. I'd have had a thousand fucking questions for her doctor about next steps. I'd have persuaded her to leave the job she hates. There are a million things I'd have done, and he hasn't done a goddamn one of them. "Do you want me to call them?"
She laughs. "Oh my God. If you called my mother, she'd go off the deep end."
"Why's that? My bedside manner isn't that terrible, is it?"
Her eyes grow a little hazier. "Your bedside manner is just fine."
I find myself watching Roseanne's mouth as she speaks, which was a really bad idea. My dick has a mind of its own and now strains hard against what was a roomy pair of pants. "Then what's the problem?"
"The problem is if she learns I've got a doctor named Lisa after I spent my early childhood dreaming about a doctor named Lisa, she's going to lose her mind. I think it was pretty unnerving to have your toddler talking about her spouse from a past life." Her jaw tenses. "And my mother is easily spooked."
There's tension there, whenever she refers to her mother. I wish I knew why. "Those dreams...what made them stop?"
Her teeth pull at her lip. "I went to therapy but I don't think that had much to do with it. We had this...incident on the farm. And they became a lot less frequent after that."
