Lisa
I feel like there's a target on my back.
I can tell by the lingering looks as I pass the nurses' station, the conversations that stop when I walk up, that Yuna has been talking, and I'm guessing she didn't leave out the fact that I'm now dating a patient. This is definitely going to get back to the administration and when it does, things will get complicated.
The conversation with Roseanne last night is never far from my head either. Her words replay again and again, like clues that are out of order or missing some key piece.
There's some purpose to all this.
It's like we can't avoid getting pregnant no matter what we do.
You're willing to believe in time travel but not that some kind of super fertility accompanies it?
Regardless of how many times I think about it, though, it doesn't come together. She's been with Jaehyun for years and managed not to get pregnant. What is it about us?
Seulgi is waiting when I return to my office. "Lunch?" she asks, in a way that sounds more like a demand. I guess she's heard about Roseanne too. She's one of my oldest friends and it's going to all come out sooner or later, but there's no way she's going to be okay with me dating a patient. Especially a dying one.
We go up the road from the hospital to a sandwich shop we used to frequent when we were in med school. The place is as packed as it ever was. "I'm starting to remember why we stopped coming here," I tell her after a woman with a stroller runs over my foot.
She frowns. "I figured this is a conversation that should be held outside the hospital." I hear condemnation in those words. Seulgi is not a woman who's grave all that often, but she sure as shit is right now.
She waits until we're sliding into a booth before she shakes her head and looks directly at me. "Okay let's hear it."
I lean my head back against the seat with a sigh and blow at my bangs. "Sounds like you already have."
"What I've heard is that you were cheating on Yuna with a dying patient," Seulgi says. "I'm hoping your version makes you look a little better."
Fuck. Yuna is making sure everyone hears the absolute worst version of this story. I should have expected it, but it's still a blow. "I broke up with Yuna before anything happened."
"Yeah," she says, arching a brow, "it wasn't the timing of it that bothered me. Are you really fucking a terminal patient? Seriously?"
My eyes close. The lie is necessary, even with Seulgi. "It's not as bad as it sounds. We dated in college and lost touch until she came to the hospital."
"Dude," Seulgi groans. "It still looks bad. You should have transferred the case. She's dying and you're her doctor, which makes you a port in the storm. It's fucking wrong to sleep with her even if she's willing."
I blow out a breath. She's not saying anything I haven't said to myself a thousand times. The guilt I thought I'd moved past comes tearing back. "I didn't transfer her because I don't trust anyone else to take care of her. And I know what you're saying and all I can tell you is that this is different." If I could utter the term soulmate without sounding like a complete pussy I would. Unfortunately, that's not possible.
"Let's say you're right. Let's say you're her everything and she's yours and this was written in the fucking stars. The girl's still going to die, Lisa. You're putting your professional reputation in serious jeopardy for a relationship that can't go anywhere."
