Lisa stood on the front porch and drew in deep, calming breaths, trying to contain the tears gathered at the corners of her eyes and failing miserably at it. She didn't need this shit. She'd been on an emotional roller coaster since the day Chaeyoung had shown up on her doorstep, and it was only getting worse. And she definitely didn't need anyone telling her what she thought and felt. Lisa knew, dammit.
She jogged down the front steps and walked through the rain to her car. If she wanted to be alone, she'd just leave her alone. Lisa had been through enough hell because of her.
This morning was me being emotional and overreacting to the stress I've been under. It didn't mean anything.
Her words ran through her mind as she pulled the car door open, and she remembered the look in her eyes when she'd said it. That haunted emotion brewing deep inside. Her chest tightened. Lisa'd been so focused on her words, she'd almost missed the most important sign.
Up until they'd seen Dr. Wang, she'd been fine. She'd handled the news about the phone calls with a calmness Lisa hadn't expected. She'd even accepted Dr. Wang's explanation of her injury. It was only when Lisa had asked if she was going to get her memory back that she'd pulled up those damn invisible walls. Since then, she'd been withdrawn, reserved, hiding behind those barriers.
Dammit. She was pushing her away because she thought Lisa was only interested in who she used to be. She couldn't possibly know she was starting to question that herself. That she'd already noticed the differences in her, that the attraction Lisa felt to her was stronger than it had ever been before.
And she was sugarcoating it by implying she didn't need Lisa to take care of her. Then she remembered the panic in her voice when Jennie had mentioned going to Australia.
She wasn't just scared. She was protecting her too. Not wanting her to get too involved. Doing exactly what she'd told Lisa not to do.
Well... to hell with that.
Water ran in rivulets down Lisa's face as she slammed shut the car door, as she jogged back up the front steps. She didn't knock, instead thrust the door open with her shoulder and took the stairs two by two until she got to the top. When Lisa rounded the corner into her office, she found her slumped against the wall, her elbows crossed over her up-drawn knees, her face buried in her arms.
So much for not caring. She was lying through her teeth.
Roseanne's head darted up when she heard Lisa getting back inside. Tears streaked her cheeks. She swiped her hand across her nose. "What are you doing...?"
Lisa grasped her by the shoulders, plucked her off the floor, and pressed her back against the wall. Then she closed her mouth over hers, hot, hungry, her kiss filled with all the anger and frustration and need swirling inside her.
Her hands bunched in her wet shirt, and she tried to wiggle free, but Lisa held her tight, pressed her body into hers. She kissed her hard, demanding a response. She bucked beneath her, but Lisa felt the moment she gave in. The moment she grabbed on and pulled her tighter instead of pushing her away. The moment she opened her mouth and drew her tongue into hers, drawing Lisa's heart right along with it.
A strangled moan resonated from her. Desire tightened in Lisa's stomach. Blood rushed straight to her groin. Grasping her T-shirt by the hem, she yanked it over her head and dropped it on the floor.
"Tell me I don't mean anything to you." Lisa nipped her ear, sucked the lobe deep in her mouth, pressed her lips against the path of her jawbone, and kissed the beauty mark below her lower lip. The one she'd licked and nibbled a thousand times before. The one that was familiar and new all at the same time.
