I went to my locker and just sat there for the time that was left for lunch. The hallway buzzed with laughter and chatter, but all I felt was an inexplicable heaviness in my chest. I sat down on the cold, tiled floor, resting my back against the metal of my locker. I tried to focus on the words I’d rehearsed a million times in my head, but it was like trying to catch smoke with my bare hands. Everything melted together, a messy portrait of high school drama painted with jealousy and unspoken feelings.
Why do I overreact so much when I see Stiles with Lydia? I couldn’t understand it. He was my best friend, and yet seeing them together turned me into a mess. I didn’t want to hurt him; I never wanted that. But I couldn’t unfeel the tightening in my gut when she laughed at something he’d said, or the way they leaned into each other a little too closely.
Just then, someone sat next to me, breaking my reverie. I looked over to find Stiles smiling, the boyish grin that had once made me feel the lightest of heart, now somehow carrying the weight of the world.
“Hey, that’s what you needed to do? Sit here and zone out?” His tone was light, teasing, but I knew he had that sixth sense for when something was off.
I sighed, letting my shoulders droop. “I just needed to leave. I couldn’t handle it.”
“Jackson?” he guessed, narrowing his eyes at me.
“Everyone,” I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.
“EVEN ME?” he gasped, a theatrical note of shock slipping into his voice.
I rushed to correct him, “No, no, no, not you. You’re annoying sometimes, but you’re different. I just hate the idea of being alone, and I sound really selfish right now." I fixed my gaze on the ground, feeling the heat creep up my cheeks. “Scott is with Allison, Lydia with Jackson, and you… you’ll try to be with Lydia, so here I’ll be, alone.”
“That’s not true,” Stiles asserted, scooting closer. “Come here.”
He wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace, warm and reassuring. I inhaled the familiar scent of his cologne mixed with the faintness of cafeteria food, and an unexpected calm washed over me. It felt grounding, as if there was still a part of my world that wasn’t crumbling.
“Look, I know it feels like everything is paired up and you’re a third wheel,” he said softly, pulling back just enough to meet my eyes. “But that doesn’t mean you’re alone. You’ll never be alone. You’ve got me, remember?”
“Until you get crushed on by Lydia and forget about me,” I said jokingly, trying to mask the vulnerability.
“Not gonna happen,” he promised, an earnestness in his gaze that made my heart thump hard against my ribcage. “Lydia’s cool, but you’re my best friend. We look out for each other. That’s the deal.”
His words wrapped around me, an anchor holding me steady amidst the waves of uncertainty. Maybe I didn’t need to feel threatened. Maybe love came in different forms. Stiles still had my back, and that was a comfort worth more than I’d initially believed.
The bell rang, slicing through the haze of my thoughts, and Stiles stood up, extending a hand to me. “Up you go! Let’s make the rest of lunch a good one, yeah?”
I took his hand and let him pull me to my feet, deciding in that moment that maybe, just maybe, it was okay to share the spotlight. After all, friendship flourished, even in the midst of falling for someone else.
....
As I rounded the corner of the hallway, I couldn't help but throw a teasing jab at Scott. "You’re a terrible bowler!" The words slipped out with a mix of humor and disbelief, reminding me of the abysmal night we had suffered through at the bowling alley long ago.
