When You Loved Me

Chapter 3

The Valentine's Day dance was incredibly fun–I actually liked it better than homecoming. Granted, nothing will ever beat the feeling of one's first high school dance, but the experience can also be a little overwhelming.

Our biology teacher was late to class so I took the time to show Callie photos from the dance.

"Your dress was gorgeous," she said. "That color's really nice on you."

Her compliment made me smile gleefully but, at the same time, I felt a twinge of disappointment. She was talking about the dress–not me. Which is completely fine and I know she didn't mean it in a bad way...but it still bothered me.

Maybe I was just used to superficial compliments. My whole life, I've known that I was prettier than average because people would constantly tell me. Even as a little girl, adults would exclaim things like, "What a beautiful little lady!" and "You're gonna be such a knockout when you're older!"

It's nice but, after so many times, the compliments lose their meaning.

Xavier's the only one who knows what I really want to hear. He tells me I'm intelligent, that I'm creative, and that my personality runs deeper than what everyone else sees.

Sometimes I feel as though I'm nothing more than the image I present myself as, like all people see of me is my appearance. I'm like a doll to them. But he reminds me that I'm not. I don't need to be told I'm pretty or that a dress looks good on me, I just want to be told that I am me and that that's impressive.

I guess I thought Callie could be like that, too. And maybe she will–just not yet.

I heard the teacher's footsteps hurrying down the hall. Putting my phone away, I replied, "Thanks. It would've been nice if you came but I'm sure your weekend was just as great. What did you do?"

"Oh, just stayed in. I'm not a big party person."

"Yeah? This dance wasn't as crowded as homecoming, though."

"I didn't go to that, either," Callie admitted as our teacher walked through the door.

Ms. Marshall said something directed at us but I wasn't listening.

Callie actively chose not to attend either of our first high school dances and it perplexed me. I wasn't judging, of course, I just wondered why.

I think when people hear about my intense connection with Callie, they expect the reason to be that we were like carbon copies of each other–but that's not true in the slightest.

If I was the sun, she was the moon. We didn't sparkle at the same time but, when we did, we cast our special lights and made unique worlds out of it. While one shimmered, the other appreciated their beauty. And yes, maybe at times it meant that we weren't in sync–but a connection like that is once in a lifetime.

When two people in a relationship are similar, their energies build upon each other to cast them both in a brighter shine–like Xavier and I. But with Callie, we absorbed each other's lights and reflected them into their most vibrant colors as if we were crystal prisms.

Most times, I can read people like a book. If they're like me, then I'll already know what I need to. But Callie wasn't like me–and it was exciting. She was unpredictable, someone I couldn't figure out at first glance. Her character went deeper than I'd ever expected.

I knew Callie Alvarez, but I wanted to understand her. She was an enigma, which was why I pursued such a close relationship with her. I love puzzles, after all.

Xavier's older brother took us to the mall later that day. I considered asking Callie if she wanted to come along, but I decided against it. Xavier said he didn't mind but I think he was lying.