I woke up to purple blurry walls. Once my eyes adjusted I realized i was back home in my purple and green room. I couldnt remember much of what happened but i quickly realized i had a cast on my leg. I picked up the phone that was next to my bed and dialed Katy's number. Once it started ringing i heard her ring tone, "never gonna leave this bed" by maroon five, and soon Katy was at the foot of my bed. I wondered why she was here but didnt want to say anything. "Katy, are my parents home?" Katy looked at me with hallow eyes.
"No, they are still in New York. They said they wont be home until next week."
"Oh, ok. I know this is a lot to ask and all, but will you stay with me for a while." Katy looked back at me with a reassuring smile. It was almost like she had waited her whole life to hear that.
"Of course," Katy walked over to the side of my bed and sat down looking me in the eyes, "You were the only surviver." my body went lifeless. How could i face everybody knowing i was the only one. Why couldnt I go with them. It wasnt fair! The other driver, how could I look her husband and her son or my parents in the eyes.
~~
They say there are five stages of grief.
1. Denial
2.Anger
3.Bargaining
4.Depression
5.Acceptance
I must've skipped stage one because i went full on tantrum. I threw my sheets on the floor and stormed into my parents room. "It's all YOUR fault!" I screamed to no one in particular. I started tipping over book shelves and ripping pillows. I couldnt help it. I was breaking glass and screaming. All I could think about is how if they were in our life and actually cared then we wouldnt be in this situation. WE wouldnt have been going to the surprise party because we already would have had the party! WE would've been together and innoccent people wouldnt be dead. Because you guys chose to leave us alone! After everything was destroyed in my parents room i fell on the floor and started crying. One of the maids who witnessed my out break came and started hugging me. She whispered in my ear that it was going to be ok. But it cant be ok. It will never be the same.
~~
Katy decided that i needed to go to therapy. I felt so wierd in there. Since we could afford it she took me to some fancy-shmancy theripst where they take all the rich criminals. I felt like I was going to be assulted or kidnapped or something. I could tell that Katy had the same unease as me because she wouldnt look anywhere other than the floor. I, however, looked up and saddly regretted it. The room was full of 20 to 40 year old men. They all looked pretty hard core and rugged. I once read that when they are in prison they arent allowed to see women until the get out. That put me on edge even more. Am I the first lady they have seen in a long time? With each set of eyes starring at me I felt like i was being violated. I put my head into a copy of teenvogue which they awkwardly had hanging off the side table in a hap-hazardly fashion. Soon enough I heard a lady call "Marie Henly." I got up, keeping my eyes glued to the floor, and made it through the door. Once i was in the room it made me feel slightly more comftable but not much. To be honest my therapist was a creep. He had a grey beard that reminded me of santa claus. He told me to lay down on the couch but i didnt feel like doing that. I plopped down on my tummy and bent my legs letting them cross in the air. He must not be used to having teenage girls as patients because he looked sincerly shocked. "Why do you think you are here?" he asked me. I already didnt like this guy and i felt like making his hour with me misery.
"Why are you here today? What is your name?" I said while raising an eyebrow. He seemed to be getting slightly ticked off.
"Well you see this is my job and i make people come to live with reality. My name is Mr. Henry."
Did he really just say what I think he said?! As if I dont realize what happened to my sister?
"What do you mean come to live with reality?" I hissed and I could see him backing off slightly.
"You know exactly what i meant," he had a hard glare going as if he didnt care that i was his patient. his glare turned into a friendly smile and asked why I was here again.
"I'm here because my sister died, I went on a tantrum, and was screaming and breaking things saying that it was my parents fault. Ohkay? " I tried to put it out there with the least expression possible. He just looked at me with a grave look and said, "We've got a lot of work ahead of ourselves."
