Depression

screwed up though birthday was great Part 21

My birthday was a great day, what I wanted was two new books in the All Souls trilogy. But today messed up the big time she's pissed off as usual. However, there is no way to please this woman despite serious efforts to do so even when not trying to mess up things end that way whether you want it to or not just happens sometimes and can't change despite what many say it's not your fault. However, it completely is your fault for not listening in those same ways you wished you did when you were younger but aren't she still feels there are things you don't think or know. However, screwing up is the major day so no volunteering on Thursday as the beck and call of Stepdad til he says otherwise that is how she gets her revenge on you if she knows it's something you enjoy most of all she'll take it away from you for good that's her way of things.  Have to wait til things have cooled down on her end to do anything that truly matters to me in any sort of way that is.   Been trying since I moved in here not to screw up but still do though things aren't always on my shoulders everything isn't everyone else's fault either though trying to make things up to her is harder than many would realize she gets a kick out of yelling and making her point heard and felt at the same time despite what your excuse maybe she doesn't want to hear it because she's right well this time she was right and I was wrong so that is one strike against me in serious downfall that can't be stopped once you start to fall things just follow soon after nothing can stop that fall at all.  But every adult does screw up whether on their own or with help the problem never goes away it'll hang over your head til something else happens in it's place thus far so how not to screw up every again is a hard one to answer though it's out there learn from such mistakes and hope not to repeat them everything despite what your age maybe though many fault youth for not listening and except them to learn as they get older and some actually do learn from those past mistakes and don't repeat them in adulthood but it does get harder when others don't see what they really want maybe right in front of them whether they believe it or not.