Don't Say You Love Me

Chapter 2: Thoughts of Him

Asher appeared to sit quietly reading at his desk, contrary to the bustle of students around him. With exams finally over it was now the last last day of school and everyone was emotional. Some excitedly planning their futures, some tearfully farewelling their pasts.

The finality of it all seemed to sink in with a lot of people. That the seemingly unending years of highschool were actually ending.

It wasn't that Asher wasn't emotional as well. In fact, he was perhaps the most agitated over this massive upheaval in his life. But he wasn't in the habit of sharing his inner feelings with others, not to mention with a classroom full of his peers.

So he blankly stared at the blur of words in front of him as he was carried away by the whirlwind of his mind. No one had noticed he hadn't turned a page since he'd opened the book.

"ASHERRRR!!!" Mike barreled through the crowd towards the silent boy, "Ah! Sitting here like it's any other day! C'mon, c'mon. We're having a party in my class and I knew you'd be sitting here being boring so I graciously decided to invite you."

"You did? Or did Sarah?" An amused smirk fell upon Asher's lips at Mike's usual unstoppable aura of cheer. An outgoing and lively character, those who didn't know him often labelled as simply a class clown, but after six years of friendship Asher knew this was far from the whole truth. Mike was a natural born leader, drawing people to him, evoking their trust and candor, often called upon as a mediator. These skills were likely why he had been elected as school captain.

At first glance, Asher and Mike seemed like complete opposites - Asher cold like ice and Mike warm like fire - but they were more similar than anyone could've known. Both eldest children, both with busy parents, both self-sufficient from any early age. They seemed to instinctually know at their first meeting at the beginning of highschool that they were the same type of person and had been as close as brothers ever since.

The aforementioned Sarah was Mike's girlfriend. Setting the bar in her role as athletic captain, she had big dreams and was being scouted for the Olympic track and field team. The two had known each other since they were in diaper's since their mother's met at the hospital. The dream couple, childhood sweethearts, and Sarah had Mike wrapped around her finger. He was besotted and wouldn't have it any other way, bragging about his incredible girlfriend every chance he got.

"We're practically the same person so I don't know why you'd even ask that." Mike huffed in mock offense. "You know how popular you are. The unreachable top student, dux of school, everyone's been begging me to give me your Insta and not letting me spend any time with my girlfriend. They're all hoping they can warm your cold heart in uni."

"Why would they think I need anyone to warm my heart? I'm not that cold."

Mike gave Asher a dead stare. "Don't act dumb with me. We're both too smart for that."

"Both of us?"

Mike gasped, hand over his heart, before dramatically falling to the ground.

"I come here in kindness, and you throw these vicious attacks at me. How could you?"

His pretend hurt barely lasted a second before both boys break into laughter. This sort of carefree laughter was once unfamiliar for Asher, he rarely let himself act so unrestrained, but Mike had that effect on people. He was that friend you knew would bail you out of jail at 2am on a Monday no questions asked. The friend you could talk to about anything. Well, almost anything. Not this thing. The thing that had been turning Asher's mind into mess.

His laughter died down as his thoughts drifted again. Mike seemed to catch his lowering mood and looked at him worriedly.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, you know." He said in rare seriousness. Mike understood Asher in a way few others did. They were parallels to each other. Used to being relied upon, looked to for guidance or help, unfortunately this enabled a bad habit of giving more of themselves than they realised they could afford. It was a hard habit to beat, but they survived. Mike had Sarah who wasn't afraid to refuse on his behalf, and Asher had Rhys who was more than happy to occupy his time and attention and leave none for anyone else.

Apparently Mike had followed the same train of thought as he looked around in confusion, "Where's Rhys?"

"Completely burnt out. He's having a sleep in since no roll call this morning, decided to come later for the ceremony and after party." The words streamed out of Asher smoothly, hinting at nothing other than nonchalance, like they were the only reason Asher had decided to come to school alone this morning.

Mike stared at him, clearly unsatisfied and searching for answers in his face. But even Asher didn't have any answers yet so how could Mike find any.

"You can always talk to me, you know that right? Just cause I won't be across the hallway doesn't mean you can try to escape me. We're BFFs!" He grinned, carefree and upbeat, but the way his eyes never left Asher's showed how serious he was about his support.

"Don't let Rhys here you say that, he'll try to fight start a fight." Asher shot back with a similar grin. Although the reassurance of his loyal friend brought comfort to him, he wasn't looking to ruin graduation day with his confused thoughts right now.

"Ah! You're right! Don't tell him, you know I can't beat him." Mike covered his face, pretending to be scared. They both knew no one except Asher could beat Rhys in a fight, and even then it wasn't testament to Asher's strength but that Rhys simply only listened to him.

Argh. Rhys, Rhys, Rhys. He was trying to calm himself and stop thinking about that foolish, reckless, righteous, kind, cute... Stop! Stop. Asher needed a distraction to keep his thoughts from drifting to confusing places.

He abruptly stood from his chair. "Lead the way, might as well say goodbye to everyone."

"That's the spirit!" Mike happily marched out of the room to fulfill his girlfriends orders, Asher following like a captive headed for interrogation.

As Asher achieved his goal and was unable to think at all as he was rushed by insistent girls and boys trying to get his contact, another boy had long been awake, tossing and turning, questioning why his best friend had left for their last day without him.