𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐝

14 | Mav

VALENTINA

I couldn't sleep, my mind kept drifting back to when someone clicked a picture. It was very much evident someone was keeping tabs on me closely. 

I simply couldn't close my eyes. Every cell in my body is on high alert, someone still could be watching me, possibly. Getting up from my bed, I look at the time, 4: 27 am.

Everybody must be asleep. Maybe I could take a look around the house and see if I can find anything about my mother.

I walk around the halls. I see pictures hanging up on the walls. It was of a little girl, wearing a pastel pink dress which comes up to her knees, her curly amber hair flowing down and  in her hands she held a a branch of sage leaves and pink flowers, the only thing that stood out was her big beautiful, cheeky smile. 

That's when I realized that little girl is me.

I saw another photo that caught my eye, as  I went closer I realized that it is a painting of dad, his smile was so big and bright, he was wearing a white shirt and matching pants, his eyes trained on the newborn baby wrapped in a pink pastel jumpsuit in his arms.

I saw a small signature under the painting, Mav.Os.B.

My mother, Maeve. She painted it so beautifully, the colors not too dull yet too bright, the technique was impeccable. My eyes watered at the painting infront of me, she painted me and dad, from when I was a small baby. Looking at the painting, I thought, why did she hurt me for so many years and yet seeing this painting somehow makes me feel like she had loved me, once.

Flashback:(when she was 7 years old )

I sit at the dinner table, my eyes kept glancing at my mother who kept chugging wine as if it was water. I wanted to ask her if she was okay but I was scared that she would hit me, but I walked to her, my feet walking to her on their own accord. I sat down beside her  and leaned my head against her shoulder, " Mamma, are y-you okay?"

She didn't say anything for a few minutes, she just sat there as if she was in a daze. her tear streaked face, emotionless eyes. When she didn't  say anything, I slowly kept my small hand on her knee. She turned to me, her face looking at my timid figure, for a minute I thought she was going to smile but then her face morphed into one of pure anger.

She stood up furiously and then started at me, I already knew she was going to yell at me and hung my head low, tears gathering in my eyes but before she could say anything or hit me, the door bell rang, the sound resonating through the house.

Her gaze lingered on me as she walked to the front door, I stood up, then out of curiosity I peeked at mamma who was talking to a man , but his face wasn't clear. The conversation was heated, the man angrily said something and my mamma started to cry silently. 

I kept my eyes trained on both them both, thats when the man yelled making my flinch harshly, "For this to work for us, YOU NEED TO ACT YOUR PART, ELLE" with that he left, slamming the door shut getting another flinch out of me and mamma.

My mind started to conjure many thoughts, but the one that stood out the most was why did the strange man yell at my mamma and called her elle? That's when i made the mistake of asking her, " M-mamma why did h-he call you e-elle?" my voice came out trembling.

Her back was facing me and then she turned around, she was breathing heavily and said salking towards me slowly, " Because of you. YOU are the problem, little girl. She ruined everything and ran away and now- NOW YOUR MAKING MY LIFE MISERABLE- YOU PIECE OF SHIT" 

I was shaking horribly, but somehow i found my voice and asked again, "b-but m-mamma i didn't d-do anything". that when a switched clicked in her and she raised her hand