DEFYING ODDS

Zwei

Why did you agree?

I have to. Kaligtasan mo pinag-uusapan dito.

Hanggang ngayon sunud-sunuran ka parin sa kanya. Hindi ko naman kailangan yang proteksyon mo. Kaya ko sarili ko.

That pains me. If you only know.

I know you can but I don't trust my father.

I don't need any protection, specially coming from you. Anything that involves your family sickens me. Why does your father always drags me into your family's mess?

I'm sorry. Nothing i say can bring your dad back. Nothing i say can fix what my father has done to you. I know you don't need me or anyone else, you are strong Jhoana. I give you that but you know how cruel my father is.

Whatever Gabrielle. I don't need any of those stupid things you do for me.

Right. I'm sorry.

I can't take it anymore. Every word she says is like a dagger cutting into my very soul. I turn my back from her and force my legs to take a step away. Jhoana does not give a damn about everything after her father died. I am with her, if sa akin nangyari yun baka lahat ng tao isinumpa ko na. Pero bakit pati sa akon galit na galit siya? I was kind and careful with her but her anger escalates into much hate not only against my parents but to me too.

I was blind about my father's plan. I was naive and was blinded by the respect i have for him. I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. It was late when i realize that he was no angel all this time. He was the devil himself.

I reached my car and rested my head on the steering wheel. Sandamakmak na luha na naman iniyak ko. Bakit parang sina mikha at aiah nalang kakampi ko? I know Jhoana does not mean anything with what she said earlier but my heart could not take that much hate from someone who is supposed to be my joy. Someone who tends to give me serotonin and make me all giddy. What's happening now is the opposite of what i'm dreaming for.

I drove away. One last look at her figure in the rear view mirror. I smiled sadly, a single glimmer of hope is nowhere near sight. It's all up to fate. She may not end up with me but all i want is her happiness. Reaching my condo, i grab the bottles of beer and drank myself to death. I just want the pain to go away.

Jhoana is like the star i kept looking in the sky. My moon who shines the brightest, my moon who keeps running away despite my efforts of chasing it over and over again. Just as i about to get ahold of her, she still manage to run as far as she can away from me. It feels like i am a walking disease and she is so scared to be close to me let alone see me. This treatment from her is my reality, that no matter what i do i will always the one who will receive the hate she's been carrying around her chest. The end of the line, the absorber of all her negative emotions aiming towards my family. I don't mind though, as long she will empty her chest with all of that. Maybe one day, one day she will have a little empathy towards me.

.....

One month left before the wedding, i was busy the whole two months. Now that i'll be tied permanently to one of the most evil person i've known, i need to secure my company's future. I can't just give it up, i've built that on my own despite my parents disowning me. The actions i made for the past months will do good for the people working there, the papers are almost done and all i have to do is to convince the person who has been there for me from the beginning. Grabbing my phone, i dialled my best friend's number.

Miks? Are you busy? I need to talk to you.

You sound serious, may ginawa na naman ba yang ama mo?