How we were (Carlisle Cullen x Male OC)

6

In all his years of travelling, William never felt so alone as he did now. Not in the big cities. Not in the small towns, either. But sat in Carlisle's kitchen watching the Cullen family get ready for a wedding, he felt strange. Like a piece of glass sat between him and everyone else.

It was his own fault, he thought. He had chosen to leave. Left Carlisle with a newborn Edward because he was selfish.

Selfish and a liar. He had told Carlisle that he was getting the itch to travel again - in a postcard of all things - the truth was that he was jealous. Jealous and scared and selfish.

The guilt ate at him. Chewed holes in his ribs as it crawled to lay heaved around his collarbone.

He smiled as Esme walked past, into the garden, with some flowers. He liked Esme. She was kind and funny and intelligent. It was obvious how happy she made Carlisle.

The guilt bit into his collarbone. Something sickly in the back of his throat when Carlisle passed Esme placing a kiss to her cheek.

He turned away quickly. Instead, choose to focus on the heartbeat upstairs. The floral scent of her blood. It made his jaw ache. William liked to say blood never bothered him. But he wasn't like Carlisle. Whenever it got too much, he always left. Took himself somewhere far away, never really dealing with the problem. Vampirism changed very little of him.

He moved before Carlise could touch him, from one side of the dining table to another, putting on a smile despite anxiety that bled into his hands.

But Carlisle only frowned for a second before lifting a suit bag.

"people will be arriving soon" walking around the table to stand infront of William "you'll need to get changed".

"sorry I didn't have anything appropriate" taking the bag from Carlisle. They're close, and Carlisle's scent is thick. Familiar. Warm as it wraps itself around him.

The shirt he took with him had lost its scent decades ago. He had forgotten how much he missed it.

"don't be sorry" Carlisle lifts a hand to cup his cheek, and William lets him. Curls a hand into his trouser leg so he doesn't close his eyes on contact. But his chest shudders. A phantom memory of his human life. He knows Carlisle notices it, but he's too polite to point it out.

"go" the hand slips away "get dressed before Alice comes and finds you".

He laughs but does as he's told.

He stays in the spare room longer than he probably should have. Lingers by the window watching Carlisle and Esme interacting with guests that show up. They make a handsome couple.

Something burns in his spine. He scratches the skin of his thumb.

Carlisle waves at him to come down, but he hesitates. Suddenly feeling self-conscious. He shouldn't be here. He wasn't really family.

As if he could hear his thoughts. Carlisle frowns at him again. He had seen that look before. After hundreds of years together, Carlisle could read him better than anyone. The whisper to leave grew louder in the back of his mind. And Carlisle could sense it just from looking at him.

Carlisle calls a gentle "William" and waves at him again. He nods and turns from the window. Slowly walking down through the house.

"-I know his uncle" the lie makes his smile to himself. It wasn't a complete lie. Carlisle was always thinking ahead. William just ran head first into everything.

"William" Carlise moves from Esme to stand slightly behind him, placing both hands on his shoulders. "This is Renee and Charlie, Bella's parents".

He can see Bella in them. Her father's eyes and colouring. Her mother's smile.