How we were (Carlisle Cullen x Male OC)

5.0

'Alice, darling, you need to calm down' spoke Jasper grasping Alice by her shoulders. Alice just smiles at him 'I just want everything to be perfect Jazz. This is Bella's hen night after all!' before turning around and going back to quickly placing pillows and candles around the room only to move them around four seconds later.

Tilting my head I watch Alice as she works quickly around me. In all my travels I've never met anyone quiet like her. Then again I have never come across a coven quiet like the Carlisle's. They all differ but match and bring something different; completing and contrasting as a group.

'When is Bella arriving Alice?' asked Esme carrying boxes of supplies for Bella's hen night or a "girls night in". Although Emmett might try to sneak in if his constant curious touching of Rosalie's makeup is anything to go by.

Alice hummed as she checked the watch on her left wrist 'in about an hour. Then Edward, Jazz, Carlisle and Emmett can go enjoy themselves doing what ever it is men do'.

A dullness washes over me, sort of like spilt water colour. Thick in the beginning then slowly becoming thinner and thinner until fading.

Watching them all interact I feel, not for the first time, that I'm intruding. The phrase on the outside looking in springs to mind. Watching them interacting, and just being together reminds me that I'm just a guest here. Not invited or particularly wanted. If I had not written to Carlisle everything happening now would still happen. Edward and Bella would still get married. The Cullens would celebrate and be happy with each other before life continued as always. No one would miss me or wonder what I'm doing. But I suppose that's my fault. I ran away. I left. I gave him up and----

A hand against my shoulder sends a quick bolt through my chest. Looking up I see Carlisle looking down at me brows creased with a small frown. Shifting along the small couch to allow room for Carlisle to sit down 'I didn't here you come in'. As he sits he wraps his arm across my shoulder pulling me closer till my head rested against his shoulder 'I called you but you must have been lost inside that head of yours'. As he spoke his right hand reached out to touch my fist that I hadn't realised had formed. Uncurling my fists Carlisle threads his fingers through mine, a dull ache slowly fading.

We sat quietly for a moment before Carlisle asked softly 'do you want to talk about it? You're not alone anymore remember' running a hand against my hair. I looked down at our entwined fingers then to the gold ring on my left hand. Lifting my head to look at him. My Carlisle. Leaning forward I kiss his cheek, lingering before pulling away 'it's nothing to worry about i'm just--'. Just lonely. Looking back up at him, pushing a smile 'I'm fine Carlisle. I just get lost sometimes'.

His eyes flickers around my face. Those eyes make me feel so open, so exposed. Lifting my left had I rub it across my cheek. Carlisle grabs my hand, still studying me, 'are you sure William?'. Running my tounge against my bottom lip I notice his eyes drop and linger for a moment before looking me back in the eyes. All I can do is nod.

Copying me he licks his lips then nods before looking down at my left hand rubbing his thumb across the ring that sits there. He leans forward until he kisses against my jaw, then my cheek and finally my temple. The words 'as long as you're sure' whispered there. He pulls away only to wrap his arm around my shoulder again until I was leaning back against him with Carlisle's head leaning against mine.

I'm not sure how long we sat there. But it was long enough for me to forget that Edward's stag do was happening tonight. A short call of 'Carlisle?' broke me out of my trance that Carlisle put me in. Looking over my shoulder I see Jasper stood with Emmett. Pulling my self from Carlisle and untangling our hands. I see Carlisle look at me before turning towards his sons.

Emmett stood grinning 'Edward text he'll be here in 'bout ten minutes with Bella. Then WE' he spoke before spinning in the spot and clicking his fingers to form "finger guns" 'are gonna paint the town red'. Emmett's boisterous laugh was contagious and soon everyone was laughing with him.

But the loneliness sticks and is hard to shake away, causing my laughter to die in my throat. Before anyone notices Edward walks through the door with Bella. Her floral scent is delicate but thick as she enters the house. Not particularly affecting myself, I never really did have much trouble with blood.

Bella is soon whisked away by Alice for their "girls night". Leaving just the male Cullen members and myself. Standing up pulling at my sleeves of my grey crew neck until they cover most of my hands. They're lingering. Standing stiff. Scratching my neck I clear my throat 'I'll just leave you all to it then'. Smooth William, real smooth. 'Have a good time for me?' Smiling at them, that wasn't too awkward.

It's Carlisle that moves first, grasping my hand to stop me from walking ' aren't you coming with us?'. Scrunching up my nose is shake my head at him 'No Carlisle this is is a family thing. Go and.....bond?..'. That came out more of a question than I intended but I can't remember the last time I spent time with that many people at once. '-----but William you are family' protested Carlisle. A warmth spreads through my chest, arms and over my shoulders. Squeezing his hand ' it's ok Carlisle go and enjoy yourself. I'll be here when you come back and you can stop pouting'. Carlisle just frowns at me.

'Ahh come on Will. Don't you wanna hang out with us? We not cool enough for you or something?' winned Emmett jokingly. Smirking at him  'took the words right out my mouth'. Letting go of Carlisle's hand I push him towards where Jasper was standing 'go have fun, I'll be exploring the woods'.  Making shooing motions with my hands when Carlisle turns his head to look back at me.

I stood there watching them leave. Jasper pulling Edward into a head lock while Emmett cheers on. Carlisle laughing and smiling at his family.

The dullness washes over me again, laying thick in my chest. Stood alone in the middle of Carlisle's living room I realise that this is the loneliest I have ever felt. Being away from Carlisle made it all eaiser to ignore.

Rubbing my thumb against the underside of my ring a pressure builds behind my eyes and in my throat. Licking my lips I close my eyes and use my gift to appear several miles into the woods.

Maybe a walk with help clear my head.