'Change What Is To Come.'

Black & Blues.

I wanted to cry, I finally was able to visit her on her final day, she was sleeping on her hospital bed, I heard my first death rattle from her, my eyes felt watery, I hate myself, I should've got my father away from her.

I silently sobbed, sniffles coming out of my pathetic nose, laying my lips against her hand.

"kusuo...?"

She woke up, I heard her voice.

"mama...?"

I responded, she wiped the tears i didn't even notice come out of my eyes and drift towards my cheek,

"mommy! I won't let dad hurt you again, i swear!"

She smiled, a gentle grin coming across her expression.

"he won't be able to reach nor hurt me now my dear, I promise."

I felt tears drift down once more, of she goes, I'll go too, i would do anything, hang myself, stab myself, ruin myself, I wanna go to where my mother will go, heaven.

I watch as her eyelids lowered, my hands twitched, I felt the urge to keep her eyes open so she would stay awake for eternity, but i can't do that.

I look up at the gaps of sunlight that peaked through the windows in her hospital room.

"i miss you more then anything."

I said as she approached her death that i couldn't see.

Her heartbeat machine dropped, doctors stormed in when they heard, pushing me out of the room once more.

Mommy. I love you so much.

Some hours past, and i felt my pills slowly go past my mind, my vision fogged up as i sat in the waiting room, my mind going empty, I closed my eyes, I re-opened them, I saw it again, my school,

I'm back, finally...

I winced as i felt teruhashi's fingers grip the back of my feet.

"have i really been stuck on this situation ever since i took the medication?..."

I thought to myself,

Mommy?

I saw my mother stand in her usual position infront of me,

The situation changed.

I was layed down pathetically, I saw her, I crawled to my mother by then, hopelessly trying to feel her once more.

I felt like the useless Toritsuka I was, when he tried to hug he's grandmother but she was actually a ghost the entire time.

I sobbed once more,

"mommy! Mommy!"

I yelled out to her, I looked crazy in the outer vision to everyone in the hospital, yelling for my mother and my hands reaching no where,but to me, I was reaching for my mother who was further to me then i thought, crawling to her endlessly, my legs felt weak.

The surroundings around me turned a void black, leaving me alone, I looked up from my mother, she looked back at me, the universe collecting her solid body, scooping up her ashes, I couldn't do anything, I felt useless,

I then heard the sound of footsteps approaching me, i looked back, I saw my face and body, with a serious expression.

"no one is going to save you, get up."

I looked piercingly at the bloody scars i had.

"your' skin is not made of a fabric, so don't cut it."

I had responded, he's eyebrows furrowed in slight anger.

"you have to wake up, there's no alarm."

He had responded back towards me,

"you have to leave, you're trespassing my building."

I hissed back.

"well, kick me out if you must."

I was stunned.

"you can't, Kusuo, I'm apart of you now."

He left without another word.

(WORDCOUNT: 589)