Edge of seventeen

Chapter 31

Over the next few days, the realization began to settle in—a quiet, undeniable truth that Elliot had tried to ignore for months, maybe even longer. It wasn't that he didn't know; he'd just never been ready to face it head-on. But now, as he found himself alone in Asher's room, looking at the spot where they'd both fallen asleep together after one too many late-night study sessions, it all clicked into place.

He had feelings for Asher.

Real, complicated, and confusing as hell feelings. The kind that made his chest tighten whenever Asher laughed, or when their hands brushed by accident, or when Asher flashed that cocky grin that Elliot pretended to be annoyed by. It was something he couldn't deny anymore, not to himself.

The thought didn't terrify him as much as it once might have. Maybe it was the way Asher had been there for him through everything, without judgment, or the way his family had welcomed him like he was one of their own. Maybe it was just time. Whatever the reason, Elliot was ready to come to terms with it, even if he wasn't quite ready to act on it yet.

He couldn't stop thinking about how things had changed between them. The constant bickering had softened into something else—something closer, more intimate. Sure, they still argued, but it wasn't with the same venom as before. It was almost like they were playing a game, testing each other's limits, but always knowing there was a line neither of them would cross.

Elliot found himself watching Asher more closely now, noticing the little things he'd never paid attention to before. The way Asher's eyes crinkled when he smiled, or how his voice dropped a little lower when he was being serious. The way he moved on the basketball court, fluid and confident, like he was in his element.

The more he noticed, the harder it became to ignore the pull he felt toward Asher. But Elliot wasn't naive. He knew there was a real possibility that Asher didn't feel the same way, that he might never see him as anything more than a friend. But that didn't change how Elliot felt. He was determined to be honest, at least with himself.

For now, though, he wasn't ready to say anything. There was too much at stake, too many variables he couldn't control. Asher had become one of the most important people in his life, and the thought of losing that, of messing it up because of his feelings, was too much to bear. So, he decided to wait. He would tell Asher how he felt eventually, but only when the time was right.

In the meantime, Elliot focused on their friendship, trying to enjoy the moments they shared without overthinking everything. It wasn't easy. Every time Asher laughed or threw an arm around his shoulder, Elliot had to fight the urge to pull him closer, to say something he wasn't ready to say yet.

One evening, they were sitting on the couch in Asher's living room, some mindless action movie playing on the TV. Asher was sprawled out next to him, a bowl of popcorn balanced on his lap.

"Hey, you good?" Asher asked, glancing over at him. "You've been quiet."

Elliot blinked, realizing he'd been lost in thought. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired, I guess."

Asher nodded, not pressing the issue. "You wanna crash early tonight? We've got that test tomorrow, and I know you'll kick my ass if I bomb it."

Elliot smiled, grateful for the distraction. "Yeah, maybe. But only because I'm your friend, not because I'm your tutor."

Asher snorted. "Right, because you're the picture of selflessness."

They both laughed, and the tension that had been building in Elliot's chest eased a little. Moments like this made it worth it—just being around Asher, feeling like they were on the same wavelength, even if Elliot couldn't say everything he wanted to.

As the movie droned on in the background, Elliot leaned back against the couch, his eyes drifting to Asher. He knew he was in deep, deeper than he'd ever been with anyone before. But for now, that was okay. He didn't have to have all the answers right away.

Someday, he'd tell Asher how he felt. But until then, he was content to just be in this moment, with the person who made him feel more like himself than anyone else ever had. And that was enough.