Clear eyes (Chenji)

It's just a wish

"So just throw your fantasies away!"

She screamed at me, she.. screamed.

"Stop thinking you'll find any friends. Go to your room!"

And so i did. I went to my room, tears streaming down. I open the window, hoping the sun would at least calm me down. But no, it didn't. It only made me cry more, it hurt, I wanted to escape. I wanted to go out in the world and explore. But i was trapped here.

The only thing i could do here is stay in my room and occasionally go out of the room to eat. I've gotten somewhat used to it. I started learning origami. I've been mostly doing swans. I believe if i make a thousand of them i could make a wish.

I sigh and then inhale the fresh air to calm down. I close the window and go to take a book to read. That was another thing. I mostly read the same book over and over because i didn't have many books nor did my parents gave me any.

Knock knock

I look up from the book to see my little sister carrying a glass of water i presume. I stand up to go and take it. I thank her, yet she looks at me with saddening eyes as if she knows something. She closes the door leaving me alone once more. I stare at the glass and drank it.

I go lay down on my bed, soon i feel awfully tired and weak. I let the tiredness take over and my eyes black out. I hear loud ringing in my ears, it makes me want to cry and scream. My heartbeat feels like it's trying to fight for life. I hear mumbling and then silence. Everything stopped. The ringing. The mumbling, my heart..?

I felt like i could open my eyes. I felt cold, almost like i was in ice water. I stood up from my bed, i felt lightheaded, the light felt so bright. I heard talking outside, i heard a car door being opened so i went to the window to see what was happening.

My parents. They were leaving, almost as if in a hurry. The sirens could be heard from the far distance. They left, but them leaving was replaced by police and a medical car. What?

I turn away from the window to see my body on the bed. Pale, a gunshot wound in my heart, I was dead. I'm looking at myself yet also no one.

I place my hand on my chest, i felt the wound but it dry unlike the body's one. I stepped closer to the body, before i could the door was kicked opened, the paramedics. They checked my pulse, everything. Yet i know they already knew i was dead from the start.

Soon enough my body was gone, it was only me left, a ghost of a boy who wanted freedom. I start crying. One question got answered today, ghosts can cry.

I sat on the floor. My mind pouring question that will never get answered: Why me? What did i do to deserve this? Why did they do this?

It's so cold, my heart stings, my mind is loud, everything is bright. I scream. The scream echoing and turning into a screeching noice at the end, it scares me. I hate everything about this. I want to feel free for once.

I stand up, wondering if maybe now i could escape, but i wasn't, as soon as i tried to step out the door it burnt me. I close the door place my head on it, tears going down. I'll be stuck here for eternity, just a weeping ghost stuck in his room.

Did i deserve all this. I only loved a boy, It was only love, love should be normal. Why does it have to turn this way. Why?

I see at the corner of my eyes the origami swans i made, i sigh. Trying it out wont hurt, right?

It's just a wish.