Love Amidst Wars

forty-two

Juliette curled up into a ball on the bathroom floor, feeling its hard and cold material as she shivered in tears. She kept the water tap running to prevent Johnny or her mother from hearing her sobs and whimpers from the other side of the door.

After minutes of thinking she could get away with the grief, the door was suddenly knocked. "My lady?" Johnny's voice was heard from outside as he gently knocked again.

"Yes?" She wiped her tears with the hem of her sleeves and stood up slowly before opening the door, "Do you need something?"

"You're crying, my lady."

"It's understandable, is it not?"

He waited for a second before pushing himself in, slowly pushing the door wide open before closing it again. She leaned against it before sliding down and hugging her knees to her chest, "You're used to these kinds of things. Or is it still traumatising for you?"

He sighed and sat across from her, leaning against the wall. He thought for a while as he fiddled with his fingers, "It still is."

"Have you ever thought that our kingdom would experience this awful invasion?"

"Never. But I can't say it's not possible."

Juliette furrowed her brows before looking away, wiping her runny nose. "Maybe there's hope? Maybe my father's looking for me and my mother. Maybe–"

"He's dead. I've checked the manor, my lady. He was bleeding on the floor with bullets in his back."

"Did the Duke send you here?"

"Yes."

"How is he? He had not answered my letters before this invasion started. I hope he's still alive."

"He's having some awkward situations with the Prince. They are not friends anymore anyway. But they make things awkward for the other soldiers as well."

She did not smile nor show any reaction at all upon hearing the information. All she felt was longing, grief, disappointment and many other things she could not explain.

"Johnny, have you ever felt homesick before? Especially the first time you went on an expedition?"

The fellow soldier thought for a while, "It would be a lie if I said I did not experience it."

"Then how did you feel when you got home?"

"I was ecstatic. My mother greeted me with my favourite meals on the table. We talked for hours until it was late at night."

Juliette could not help but scoff at his storytelling. Her lips curved into a frown as she looked at him with eyes of annoyance. "My father was my home. My manor was my home. Even after this invasion ends, I cannot go back. I don't have anywhere else to go. I can't go back to my father's loving arms, greeting me every time I enter the manor. I can't fall asleep on my bed and I can't do things I love in the living room with my family."

"My lady, I–"

"Where can I go? After this invasion ends, what will happen to me and my mother?"

"I... don't know what to say. I'm sorry, my lady."

"Just... leave me alone. Please. I need some time alone," she begged as her voice broke, watching him leave and closing the door behind him.

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"Shelter for women and children! Shelter for women and children!"

The royal guards' voices filled the air of a hectic night. Clarissa held her mother's hand as she led her through the crowd.

"We should just stay at our manor, Clarissa."

"Clarissa!"

"Clarissa! I won't set foot in that filthy shelter. Clarissa, do you hear me–"

"Shut up!" Clarissa heaved out in anger. She released her mother's hand roughly before taking a step closer to her, "I am tired of you complaining for hours! Where do you want to stay if you don't like this shelter?! The palace exploded and staying at our manor is unsafe! The shelter is all we have!"

She looked at Lady Clara straight in the eyes before sighing, "If you want to go home, suit yourself. Be my guest. I am staying here."

Her mother looked at her with widened eyes, shocked to see her own daughter going against her. She instantly slapped Clarissa and looked away, "Suit yourself then. But remember this, your father and I wanted a son but we got you instead. I had hoped you would do greater things for us. But it turns out you are a disappointment. If you were to die here, in this filthy shelter, bear in mind that I simply do not care."

Clarissa watched as her mother turned away to leave, feeling her heart heavy at the harsh words.

"My lady, hurry! You're holding up a line!" One of the guards yelled angrily and dragged her into the shelter.

She took a few steps forward, holding her chest as she tried to suppress her tears.

Well then, Mother.

I wish that whatever you said to me today, will eventually find its way back to you.