Kodoku

Chapter 14

Yaga led Gojo into his office, the door closing behind them with a soft click. The room was dimly lit, the afternoon sun casting long shadows across the walls. Yaga gestured for Gojo to sit down, then pulled his chair around to sit directly across from him. He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his thighs and his hands clasped in front of him. His expression was a mix of concern and frustration.

"Sit," Yaga said quietly, his tone firm but not unkind.

Gojo sat down, his usual confident demeanor subdued. He avoided Yaga's gaze, staring instead at a spot on the floor.

Yaga sighed deeply, the weight of the situation heavy on his shoulders, "What on earth is going on, Satoru? What are you thinking?"

Gojo remained silent, his jaw clenched. He couldn't bring himself to meet Yaga's eyes.

Yaga took off his sunglasses, something he rarely did, and leaned in closer, "Look at me, Satoru."

Reluctantly, Gojo lifted his eyes to meet Yaga's. The concern and worry in Yaga's gaze were palpable, and it struck a chord deep within him.

"I'm worried about you," Yaga said, his voice softening, "I'm worried that you're losing control of yourself. You're losing everything that made you who you are and you're becoming the monster people believe you to be."

Gojo's eyes flickered with a mix of emotions—anger, shame, and a deep-seated sadness. He took a shaky breath, trying to find the words to explain the chaos inside his mind.

"I... I don't know what I'm even doing," Gojo finally admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, "Everything feels like it's falling apart. Sarah, the family, me... everything."

Yaga nodded, listening intently. He paused for a beat before he said, "You've been through a lot, Satoru. But this... this isn't the way to handle it."

Gojo's hands tightened into fists, his frustration bubbling to the surface. He shouted, "Then what the fuck am I supposed to do, Yaga? Just sit back and let them win? Let them take everything from me?"

"No," Yaga said firmly, "But letting your anger control you and burying your feelings by getting high isn't right. You're better than this. You have people who care about you, who are willing to help you if you let them."

Gojo's gaze dropped again, his shoulders slumping. The weight of Yaga's words was heavy, and he couldn't deny the truth in them.

"I just... I don't know how to fix this," Gojo admitted, his voice cracking, "I don't know how to make things right."

Yaga reached out, placing a hand on Gojo's shoulder. "You start by taking a step back. By letting us help you. We can figure this out together, but you need to let us in. You need to trust us."

Gojo looked up, meeting Yaga's eyes once more. There was a glimmer of hope in the older man's gaze, a promise that he wasn't alone in this.

"Okay," Gojo said, his voice steadier. "I'll try."

Yaga gave a small, reassuring smile. "That's all I'm asking for. One step at a time, Satoru. We'll get through this together." Yaga let the heavy silence settle between them before speaking again. "Satoru, I think it would be best if you took some time away from Tenjiku. You need to clear your head, get some perspective," he suggested gently.

Gojo looked up at Yaga, a mixture of relief and uncertainty in his eyes. He opened his mouth to respond, but Yaga held up a hand, stopping him.

"Before you say anything," Yaga continued, "I need you to be honest with me. Do you truly believe you love Sarah?"

Gojo swallowed hard, his throat tight. He looked up at Yaga, his hands wringing in his lap. "I do. I've loved her ever since I was a kid. She was the only woman who ever treated me like a human, not like a monster or some kind of god," his voice cracked, and his voice stammered as he continued, "I know I messed up. I know I don't deserve her, but I know I love her. I don't know why I can't do right by her."