A guide to redemption

Chapter 2: To lament a life

While Yamizuru's nights were mostly composed of complete darkness until he woke up, there were rare times when dreams would plague his mind instead. Images of the things his heart desires most would pop into his mind and for a split second, he immerses himself and allows himself to believe.

He conjured up a different life where the world was much kinder to him. Rather than receiving scathing remarks and darkened gazes, people would smile up at him and greet him warmly in a way he'd always desired. They'd treat him with the respect his title should have brought him.

He knows it was impossible but just imagining it made him feel somewhat lighter.

He wondered though, if he were to die, would anyone mourn him? He knows that the Empire would at least create a fuss about the sudden death of the Empress but would anyone personally miss him?

He doubts it.

The Empire would go into mourning but other than the fake sobs and the overdramatic darkened clothes, everything would stay the same in his absence. Hell, it might even shine brighter now that the dirt staining the royal name was gone.

He thinks about Jun'ichi, thinks about Sakura, thinks about the nobles he's met, and the commoners he's encountered in the villages. He imagines them crying, maybe even feeling remorseful at the horrible fate he succumbs to.

But how could they mourn him when no one but him knows he's died?

A hollow feeling encompasses Yamizuru's being as rather than waking up in his bed, he finds himself staring down at his own peacefully sleeping body. Everything would've been better if he were actually just dead and was now left as a lost soul but before that thought could even cross his mind, he finds his own body waking up.

The imposter was obviously confused, even somewhat panicked, as he stood up from his bed and looked around. He heads over to the vanity, barely paying any mind to the scattered paper and books on the floor, and takes a good look at his features.

The soul now inhabiting Yamizuru's body obviously looks even more troubled as realization crosses his face. For some reason, Yamizuru couldn't help but scoff at that as even this stranger was dismayed at seeing who exactly he had ended up possessing.

Yamizuru observed the person a bit more before turning away, seemingly losing interest in what he was seeing. Was it because he no longer had a human body and that's why he didn't feel emotions as strongly?

Normally, he'd be angry at the prospect of someone taking over his body along with his role in the Empire but right now, as he walks around the halls with no one batting an eye his way, he couldn't help but feel...light.

No servants stopped to give him hesitant respect, only to glare when his back was turned. No noble ladies would sneer behind their overly decorated fan and poofy sleeves. No visiting noblemen would look down at him through their lashes, as though he was worth nothing but filth.

Something about not being subjected to those harsh looks made him feel a lot freer in the years he's been in the castle.

Despite being the Empress, he'd always preferred to keep his gaze low, just to avoid making eye contact with all the condemnation the people felt for him. Some might've assumed that he was simply haughty to meet their eyes but then again, when did they ever think he wasn't?

He looked around the castle walls, finally taking the chance to walk slowly rather than in a rush to avoid encountering anyone. His eyes graze over small details and cracks he'd never gotten to see when he was in his own body. A feeling of fascination bubbled within him as he recognized that the carvings and prints on every palace property weren't there just because.