As a single mom in a small town, there's only one thing I want. Another baby. When all the roads to getting what I want lead to dead ends, I turn to one of my best friends for help.
In my mind, Trent Castillo is the perfect baby daddy. He has good g...
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Victoria's first birthday party is a weird mix of extravagant and down-to-earth. A lot of Mia's friends from the music industry have invaded Little Falls and my mom's house. Sarah Telling is the only one I know by sight, and her husband has been making the rounds to every woman in the room as though he's the true gift at this party. A relationship like that would not be for me.
Pasha isn't on duty today, but you'd never know it from how he's lingering by the door, constantly checking on those who are supposed to be standing watch. Since I'm trying to avoid Sarah's husband and not make it look like I'm so attached to Trent that I can't leave him alone, I wander over to him.
"Lot of people here," I say as I gaze up at him.
He nods. "Yes." He hesitates for a beat and then he says, "Mia told me it was the anniversary the other week. It's always a hard day."
"It is, yeah," I agree, searching for Trent in the crowd without meaning to. "Mia told me you lost your finance in Russia."
"Yes," he says. "Was a long time ago now."
"Time is weird like that, though, isn't it? What feels long in some respects is short in others."
"I talked to someone in Russia and here to figure out how to make it better in my heart," he says. "Was not easy."
"No," I say, "it's not easy. I never went to speak to anyone. I probably should have. Maybe it would have been easier for me to move through the grief. I don't know if we ever move past it, necessarily."
"What are you two talking about?" Mia asks, appearing at my shoulder.
"Grief," I say. "It's a really uplifting topic for a first birthday."
Pasha frowns. "I—"
"That wasn't directed at you," I say to Pasha. "I appreciated you saying something. Too often we don't because it feels awkward."
He nods.
"Your mom was just talking to me about grief too," Mia says.
"Oh, god," I say. "What was she on about now?"
"She thinks you need to go to counselling to be able to move into a new relationship."
I love Mia's directness. At first when she returned, it was a bit hard to know how to take her, but she says what she means and she means what she says. She never delivers a line, at least to anyone in the family, with the intention of wounding or making things awkward.
"That is also a great conversation for a first birthday," I say. "She's projecting. She hasn't gotten past Dad's death." And maybe six months ago, she might have been right about me too. But I don't feel like I can't move beyond Omar anymore. Whatever is happening between me and Trent has made me believe that it is possible to find what I once had, someday.
