As a single mom in a small town, there's only one thing I want. Another baby. When all the roads to getting what I want lead to dead ends, I turn to one of my best friends for help.
In my mind, Trent Castillo is the perfect baby daddy. He has good g...
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Grady's house is mess, which I'd like to say is because of the ongoing renovations, but it was a rundown piece of shit house when he bought it. But at least he can get a mortgage, have someone loan him the money to do what he wants.
"Should have just dozed the place," I say, standing in the kitchen and surveying the missing walls. They've taken everything back to the studs. The place is an empty shell.
"Maggie has a vision," Grady says. "I'm just along for the ride."
"The Sullivan women are a force to be reckoned with," Kelvin says, cracking a beer and passing one out of his cooler to me and Grady.
All week I've been trying to pretend things are normal between me and Em, even though nothing feels normal, and we haven't seen each other in person yet to get rid of this lingering unease. We need to see each other to get over this hump, but every time I've tried to stop in to see her, she hasn't been home or has been too busy to meet up.
Which would feel convenient, if I wasn't able to put it in perspective. There are lots of weeks where one or both of us is too busy to see the other. Doesn't mean anything.
"My friend, Michael, has been out with Emily three times now, I think," Kelvin says, squinting as though trying to remember. "Maybe four?"
"Since last week?" I say, unable to temper my outburst.
"Yeah," Kelvin says with a grin. "Must be going well, right? I had a feeling when I set them up."
That short black dress she'd worn to the dance club had pissed me off in the moment, and I hadn't been sure why. But later, I realized it was new. I'd never seen it before. The idea of her purchasing it with the intention of showing off her assets to this Michael guy had sparked something I did not want to examine then or now.
I wonder if she moans for him when he kisses her like she did for me, if she arches into it, eager for more contact.
Christ. I am so fucked.
"You seen her this week?" Grady asks me before taking a sip of his beer.
"Not this week," I admit.
"If she gets serious with him, you'll be lucky to see her at all," Grady says. "Male-female friendships are hard to keep as close once you've got a significant other. Or at least that's what I've seen."
That was true for me and Maggie. It hasn't bothered me because Maggie's friendship had been drifting for years before she reconnected with Grady. Then Lila and Emily entered the picture, and I actually really loved having strong female friendships again. We could hang out, flirt, give each other advice.
Then I fucked things up with Lila, and now I'm in the process of fucking things up with Emily.
I really need to stop leaping before I look.
"Amir might get a stepdad after all," Kelvin says, clinking his bottle with Grady's as though doing a "cheers", but when he tries to clink mine, I pull away to take a drink.
"Getting a bit ahead of yourself," I say, but a ball of anxiety is forming in my gut. There's no way I've spent the last year protecting and nurturing my relationship with Emily and Amir only to have it yanked out from underneath me.
"She's been on three or four dates with this guy," Grady says. "When was the last time she even went on a second date? According to Maggie, it's zero. Zero times a guy has made it to a second date since she started dating again in October."
It is zero, and I hate that he knows that, that he's rubbing it in my face without realizing he's rubbing it in my face.
"Emily and I are tight," I say. "She's not going to drop me for some guy she's been on a few dates with."
"Maybe not right now," Kelvin says, "but eventually, probably. Your partner becomes that go-to person in a crisis or when you need support. I get that you two have become close, but I think this is what she wants isn't it? A relationship."
It's not what she wants. It's what she'll settle for because she can't get what she wants. And I feel an old fire light in my belly, one I've tried so hard not to spark in the seven years I've been out of jail.
It's the kind of fire that burns shit down, where I become so laser focused on achieving something that nothing and no one can talk me out of it.
"She definitely has things she's looking to achieve," I agree and take a long drink of my beer to avoid saying something I shouldn't. Neither of these two need to know more about Emily's business than they already do.
"Wouldn't be fair for you to insert yourself if you've got no intention of being that person for her," Grady says, a clear warning in her tone.
"I wouldn't dream of it," I say. "I want Em to be happy just as much as the next person." Probably more.
###
I'm more nervous than I've ever been in my life—even more than when I got arrested—because I knew I was fucked then. There was no way I was going to avoid what was coming.
But this? Well, there's all kinds of ways I can fuck shit up right now. I sit in the doctor's office, my foot jiggling while I wait my turn.
This emergency appointment I asked for is bullshit, but when the receptionist said I'd have to wait two weeks to get an appointment that was a non-emergency, I lied.
It's the start of me eroding my life, my values, to go after what I want. Which should terrify me. Wanting something this much is what got me into trouble last time.
"Trent Castillo," the nurse says from the door that'll take me into the doctor's rooms.
I rise and follow her back. She records my height and weight on the way through in case the doctor has to prescribe any medication.
He won't, but whatever. I'm not going to argue when I'm here under false pretenses.
When Doctor David Rigilotto finally enters the examination room, he gives me a big smile. "Trent, it's been a while. What can I do for you today?" He slides into the wheelie chair near the desk that houses a computer, and he types in his information to pull up my file.
"I need some help with something, and I think I need a doctor to do it."
David leans back in the chair, steepling his fingers. "Tell me what you think you need."
So I do.
What do you think Trent is up to? If you're enjoying the story, I'd love to hear from you. ♥ Before you go, hit the star.
