Random Book Ideas

Explaining A Little Something All My Newer Ocs Have In Common:

hey, hi, hello.

you've probably noticed a reoccurring theme in my newer Ocs, specifically Yuki and Loki/Loik. this applies to Queenie Ann Taylor as well I guess.

if you haven't, here it is: they're both gender neutral or boyish looking/people can't tell their true gender.

the reason I do this is mostly based on personal things that have happened in my life. from ages 11/12 to 16 I had serious problems with my gender. I was confused. I didn't know whether I was really a girl, a boy born in a girls body, or somehow both. this agony, this torture, not knowing who I was (both gender wise and other- though the other is a part I'm still going through), went on for 5-6 years. its not something I would wish on anybody.

eventually I came to the conclusion that I was, in fact, a female, just a more masculine one. which is why I've been fondly mistaken as a butch lesbian. I'm not butch, nor am I lesbian, despite my liking women, I, unfortunately, still very much like males. I've had a hard time figuring this out too, but that's a whole nother shitshow.

now, I've had short hair since maybe 7th or 8th grade. for a long time it was in a grown outish pixie cut, imagine Zack and Codys hair from that one early 2000/2010s tv show, but shorter. 

i cut it for the reason that it made me feel/look more like a boy, but over the years the excuse I used on my parents as to why I cut it (that they most likely knew was bullshit), that is was easier to manage and take care of, became true, and now I cant stand to have it long (except on top), or even to have it touch my neck. the hair cut I have now is like Jacksepticeyes haircut when he dyed his hair green for some event. remember he said he looked like a carrot or something? and is was the shittist dye job ever? more yellow than green?

yeah, that's the one. it used to be pretty much exactly that, but I don't have the face shape anymore to be able to shave it (double chin), so I just cut it super short instead. I've had the same haircut-  consistently, not counting the first time I got it in freshman year and my mom wouldn't allow me to shave for a while- since maybe the summer after sophomore year.

my point in telling you this is because it explains a bit about how my female characters, who were assigned female and birth, and have always identified with it- have their relationship with people not knowing their actual gender, or assuming their a boy.

that's uh... that is heavily based off of me.

when I had my Zack and Cody but shorter hair cut (and when it grew out like that in sophomore year), in the dark and from behind (I have huge tits, so I'm obviously a girl from the front, without even looking at my face, which is more feminine) I was mistaken as a boy a lot.

obviously back then I was fucked up about my gender status, so it made my steritonine sky rocket, and it was funny as  fuck when they realized I wasn't a boy.

now though, its just hilarious. still. I'm definitely more feminine now, but sometimes the liberals "don't want to assume" or some people are just a tad retarded and cant tell. the liberal bit just pisses me off tbh.

you don't wanna offend me? SIDE RANT. no one should be getting offended at being misgendered in the first  place! even when I was going through my shit I thought that. its just so stupid. yeah, I get it might be tiring being called a gender you don't identify with, but you don't need to go apeshit on people for it. I always hated the trans people who did that. like calm down. godsdamn. I should know, as an... what would you even call it? ex-tranny? (I have permission from a trans friend to say that; plus I used to be one so...)

I can hear the anger, unfollows, and lost readers already.

anyways. back on topic.

one of my fondest memories of being called a boy was when I was a sophomore, my Zack-and-Cody-but-longer haircut back in play, and was walking through the halls holding hands with my at the time boyfriend- and I will absolutely name drop him bc I was a dumbass to break up with him (maybe not... he was kinda an alcoholic...)- Leo.

so, there we were, hand in hand, him thinking I identified as a female completely, when some little shithead from behind us yelled:

"ARE YOU TWO A GAY COUPLE????!!!"

I turned around to see who tf said that, and then the cretin saw me

*GASP*

 the most audible gasp I've ever heard was released from his mouth. fucking hilarious. 

then he started being a little shit again 

"Are you a girl?"

"Unfortunately"

"You should kiss"

"we haven't kissed yet, and I'd rather in not be because a dumbass told us to"

"KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!"

then we finally got away from him and Leo leaned over and asked, "What did you mean unfortunately?" 

luckily, I was raised by a theater teacher, and have impeccable acting skills. not to brag.

"Do you know how hard it is to be a girl?! in this day and age?!"

never questioned it again.

ever since my "coming to" I've been extremely fond  of using gender neutral looking female characters who don't really confirm or deny what their gender actually is until they get close to someone, or, in Loki/Loik's case, get sick of hiding it. people say that authors usually based their main characters, or characters in general off of them, or who they wish they were, and I'm here to tell you that it's 100000000% true. if you couldn't already tell by this entire chapter.

anyways, that's basically it. if you never noticed what Yuki, Loki/Loik, and Queenie have in common... now you do. you're welcome.

edit: another thing based off of me is how they dont give a shit that people misgender/cant tell their gender. I literally don't give a fuck anymore. like, I'm a girl, I identify being a girl, but if people cant tell that, I just let them call me whatever. causes some confusion for people who know I'm a girl, but, like I said, idgaf anymore.