Broken Records | Tayley

Chapter 25: Where It All Began

Hayley's POV

I sat on the couch in the living room, staring blankly at my phone. The screen had gone dark a while ago, but I hadn't moved, hadn't even blinked. My mind was far away, tangled in a web of thoughts that I couldn't quite untangle. It had been a few days since I returned from LA, but the anxiety that had settled into my chest hadn't budged. If anything, it was getting worse.

The nightmares about Chad still haunted my nights, and even though Taylor was right there beside me, I felt more alone than ever. I tried to shake it off, to convince myself that I was just tired, that it was all in my head. But deep down, I knew better. Something was wrong, and it wasn't going away on its own.

I glanced at my phone again, and before I could talk myself out of it, I unlocked it and scrolled through my contacts until I found the number for Dr. Morgan. I hesitated for just a moment, my thumb hovering over the call button, before I pressed it and brought the phone to my ear.

The phone rang twice before she picked up. "Hello, Dr. Morgan's office."

"Hi, this is Hayley Williams. I was hoping to schedule an appointment."

A few days later, I was back in Dr. Morgan's office, the familiar surroundings offering a small sense of comfort. I settled into the chair across from her, pulling my legs up and hugging my knees to my chest.

"Hayley, it's good to see you," Dr. Morgan said with a warm smile, her voice as calm and reassuring as ever. "What's been on your mind?"

I took a deep breath, trying to organize the chaos in my head into something coherent. "I... I've been struggling," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "Ever since I got back from LA, I've felt... distant. From Taylor, from everything."

Dr. Morgan nodded, her expression understanding. "What do you think is causing that distance?"

"I'm not sure," I said, feeling a flicker of frustration. "Everything with Chad really messed with my head. Seeing him, being in LA... it brought back so much. But I also can't stop thinking about Taylor and what this all means for us."

"Has something changed between you two?" Dr. Morgan asked gently.

"No, not really," I admitted, chewing on my lip. "But being back in that old environment, it made me question things. Chad somehow figured out that Taylor and I are together, and it threw me off. Is it really that obvious? I started worrying about what people would think, how our fans might react."

Dr. Morgan leaned forward slightly, her eyes full of empathy. "It sounds like you're carrying a lot of external pressure—worrying about how others will perceive your relationship, rather than focusing on how you feel about it."

I nodded, her words hitting closer to home than I wanted to admit. "Yeah, I guess so. It's just hard not to think about it. I've dated a bandmate before, and it didn't end well. I'm scared that history is going to repeat itself."

"But you've also grown a lot since then," Dr. Morgan pointed out. "You're not the same person you were back then. It's important to remember that this is a new chapter, not a repeat of the past."

"I know," I sighed, rubbing my temples as the weight of it all bore down on me. "I just... I don't want to mess this up. Taylor means so much to me, and I don't want my baggage to ruin everything."

Dr. Morgan gave me a reassuring smile. "It's okay to have those fears, Hayley. But don't let them overshadow the good things you have with him. Focus on what's real between you two, not on the 'what ifs.'"

I nodded, taking in her words and trying to let them sink in past the walls I'd built up around my heart. "You're right," I admitted. "I guess I've just been so caught up in everything that I've lost sight of that."

Dr. Morgan paused, then asked, "When did you first realize that you had feelings for Taylor?"

The question caught me off guard. I hadn't really thought about it in those terms before, hadn't pinpointed the exact moment when my feelings for Taylor had shifted from friendship to something more.

"I'm not sure," I said slowly, trying to piece together the timeline in my head. "We've been friends for so long... but I guess it started to change after the divorce. Taylor was there for me in a way no one else was, and somewhere along the way, I realized that I felt something more for him. But I don't think there was one exact moment... it was more like a series of moments that built up over time."

"It sounds like Taylor has been a source of stability and support for you during a very difficult time. It's natural that your feelings would evolve in that context."

"Yeah," I agreed, a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. "He's been incredible. It's just... I don't want to take him for granted. I don't want to lose what we have."

"Hayley, it's important to remember that relationships are rarely black and white. It's okay to have doubts and fears, especially after everything you've been through. But don't let those fears overshadow the genuine connection you have with Taylor. Take your time, explore your feelings, and don't be afraid to communicate with him about what you're experiencing."

"You're not alone in this," Dr. Morgan said softly. "Remember that he is a part of this relationship too. Trust in the bond you've built together, and don't be afraid to lean on him when you need to. It's okay to be vulnerable with the people you love."

As I left Dr. Morgan's office, I felt a little lighter, but the uncertainty still clung to me like a shadow. I knew I had a lot of work to do, both on myself and in my relationship with Taylor, but for the first time in days, I felt like maybe—just maybe—I could find a way to make it work.