Broken Records | Tayley

Chapter 20: Drowning in the Past

Hayley's POV

I was drowning. The water was cold, suffocating, and I couldn't move. It pressed against my chest, squeezing the air out of my lungs as I struggled to swim to the surface. But something held me down, keeping me submerged. I kicked and thrashed, desperate for air, but it was useless. The surface seemed impossibly far away, getting farther with every frantic stroke.

That's when I saw him—Chad. He stood on the shore, watching me struggle, his expression unreadable. He didn't reach out to help, didn't even move. He just watched as I fought to break free, my lungs burning as the water filled them. I tried to scream, but no sound came out. My limbs grew heavier, my movements slower, and I could feel myself sinking, deeper and deeper into the darkness. Just as my vision started to blur, just as the last of my breath escaped in a flurry of bubbles, I shot up in bed, gasping for air. My heart pounded violently in my chest, my skin clammy with sweat. It took me a few seconds to remember where I was—that I was safe, in my own bed, far away from him.

But the terror didn't fade. My whole body trembled as I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, needing to ground myself in reality. Taylor stirred beside me, half-asleep as he reached out for me. "Hayls? You okay?"

I couldn't speak, not right away. The dream had shaken me to my core, and all I could do was nod, forcing myself to take deep, steadying breaths. Taylor sat up, his eyes sharpening as he took in my state. "Another nightmare?"

"Yeah," I whispered, my voice cracking. I didn't need to tell him what it was about. He already knew.

Without saying a word, Taylor pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly against his chest. His warmth seeped into me, and I clung to him like a lifeline, willing the remnants of the nightmare to fade away. "It's okay," he murmured into my hair. "You're okay. I've got you."

For a while, we just sat there in the darkness, wrapped in each other's embrace. But the feeling of drowning wouldn't leave me. I knew what it was about. It wasn't just the trauma of everything that had happened with Chad—it was the knowledge that, in just a few hours, I would have to face him again.

The next morning, the reality came crashing down like a tidal wave. As much as I wanted to stay wrapped in the comfort of our little bubble, the world outside was waiting—specifically, the world I had left behind in LA.

I was flying out the next day to finalize the divorce. Even though every fiber of my being wanted to stay in Tennessee, surrounded by the life I was rebuilding, I knew this was a step I had to take. Taylor had insisted on coming with me, or better yet, not going at all and letting the lawyers handle everything, but I knew I needed to face this alone. There were some things that only I could close the door on.

"I'll be fine," I reassured him, though I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince him or myself. "It's just a few days. I need to do this."

"I know," he said quietly, his eyes searching mine for any sign of hesitation. "But if you need me, if it gets too hard..."

"I'll call you," I promised, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips. "I just need to do this on my own, okay?"

Taylor nodded, his hand finding mine and squeezing it. "I get it. But I'm just a phone call away, remember that."

As we sipped our coffee, the morning light casting soft shadows across the kitchen, I tried to push away the anxiety that gnawed at the edges of my mind. I'd spent so long running from this moment, avoiding the finality of it all. But now it was here, and there was no turning back.

Alf nudged my leg with his nose, sensing my unease, and I reached down to scratch behind his ears. His presence, as always, was a grounding force, reminding me that I wasn't alone, even when things felt overwhelming.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?" Taylor asked again, his voice laced with concern.

I shook my head, managing a small smile. "I'll be okay. I just need you to take good care of Alf and yourself while I'm gone. I'll be back before you know it."

"I'll hold you to that," he said, pulling me into his arms for a tight hug. I closed my eyes, savoring the warmth of his embrace, trying to memorize the feeling of safety that came with it. Because I knew that once I stepped onto that plane, everything would change.

It wasn't just about finalizing the divorce or picking up the last of my things. It was about finally closing the chapter on a part of my life that had shaped me in ways I was still coming to terms with. And while I knew that Taylor would be there when I got back, waiting with open arms, I couldn't help but feel like I was about to step into a storm I wasn't fully prepared for.

But for now, in this moment, I let myself be held, let myself forget about the chaos waiting on the other side of the sunrise. Because tomorrow was a new day, and no matter how much I dreaded it, it was coming whether I was ready or not.