Lonely

Chapter6

GIDEON'S POV

I was sleeping next to her, I was finally next to her and I didn't even need to hide this time. She played the piano for me with me. I hate how I feel for her but what I hate the most is what I did to her. But I had to, it was either that or she would have gone through even more pain than she is in right now

I have always been selfish, for 122 years I have been selfish and cared only for me and my sister Lilith but I have cared for myself more. Mia changed that, at first I thought it was just an attraction but as months passed and those months slowly turning to years I have started to deeply love her more than my life. I can't go a day without seeing her, without caressing her cheek gently but their are negatives. Seeing her breaking down and I can't even console her, seeing her scream in pain or cry

"Good morning" She decends the stairs rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. She mumbles something under her breath "you want coffee?" I ask knowing very well what her answer is going to be

"Yes please" She answers practically begging and I give her gental smile. I pour the coffee in a cup and hand it to her, she takes a sip before yawning

"Thanks, don't you want any?"

"I don't have a taste for coffee" I lie, I know that I will be doing that a lot from now on but anything to keep her from running away right. But soon enough I will have to tell her

"I think I do have tea somewhere" her voice pulls me out of my thoughts and shake my head 'no'

"I don't have a taste for any hot beverages" I say silently praying that she won't offer me anything because I am running out of excuses

"Oh to bad than...did you eat?" She stands up and walks to the kitchen. She takes out ingredients to make a sandwich I presume

"Yes, I ate cereal before you woke up" I lie again and everytime I do it hurts more and more. I can't wait for the day where I can finally tell her and she will exapte me... but if she doesn't than I will drain every guy who trys to get to her until she has no choice but to love me

"That's cool. What time did I sleep last night?" I wasn't quite listening to her I was to busy looking at how cute she is...or maybe my obsessive behavior is worse that I find everything she does cute "Gideon" she called out

"Yes Mia" I hate how I can't even focus whenever I'm around her

"You zoned out" She smiles to herself as if she just discovered a new species or is it just my eyes

"Yes it happens whenever...I can't control it" I explain to her and she nods in understanding

"It happens to me to...I don't really know why" I obviously already knew this since I have been watching her for years and I'm not proud of that but I couldn't stay away

"I think it happens mostly to over thinkers"

"I guess...what do you want to do today?"

"I'm thinking of going back home" her beautiful smile quickly turned into a frown. Didn't she want me to leave?...I smile at the thought

"Oh um...how about a movie instead?" She asks I smile internally

"Sure I would really like that"she smiles and that made my heart race, I know that it's just a smile but it means alot to me

"So which movie are you thinking, romance, romantic comedy, horror, thrillers"

"Mystery" I answer quickly. Mainly because I know she loves the genre

"Mystery it is, how about 'what happened to Monday' does that sound good?"

"Yes sounds great" I honestly don't really care what we watch as longs as I am close to her I'm happy, I know my obsession for her is not healthy but I've lived long enough to know that people need love in their lives...and yes I may not be human but I have human qualities, no I don't eat food, I don't sleep at all, I can't walk in the sun without a pendant and I find it hard to show feelings, but I do have them even though I don't show them often

"Shall we go sit down" I snape out of my thoughts when I hear Mia speak. I follow her to the living room like a lost puppy, she puts on the movie and we watch in silence

The silence wasn't awkward, it was actually comfortable. And I could steal glances at her because she was to focused on the movie to even notice, but I'm not complaining

I wasn't really focused on the movie, I've watched it a lot of times and I was a little bored by it now. I was just focused on my thoughts. I mean how am I going to tell her what I am, what if she runs away like my family, what if she hates me

"What are you thinking about?" I hear her soft voice, I look at her direction and catch that she is already looking at me, her beautiful brown eyes that always seem to leave me in a trance wanting more

"Nothing just" I sigh trying to think of a believable excuse "...have a lot on my mind right now"

"Do you want to talk about it?" She offers and I smile slightly

Okay I'm not human, I'm a blood sucking monster with supernatural powers and I can also shape-shift

I thought to myself not really telling her, I would always wonder how she would react if I ever told her...I don't want her to be afraid of me the same way my family was. I will never forget the face of disgust they all gave me, it hurt more than being stabbed in the heart with a silver knife

"No it's personal" I lie, I'm not ready to tell her yet

"Well if you ever need to I'm here" I nod at her words as she once again turns her focus back to the movie

Never in my entire 122 years of life have I ever been afraid to lose someone before, well not after my family. I've been numb to the feeling of loss as I watched my family slowly crumble apart, it's almost painful to say

But Mia brought it back, that fear of loosing something or someone you love, or can I even call it love...what I feel for her is what I mean. All I know is that I wouldn't let anything hurt her