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2005
Pain.
Hurt.
A four-leafed clover he would willingly do anything to protect. To him, that was you.
So, as you stood in front of him with your eyebrows furiously furrowed and lips quivering, Geto Suguru's mind was clouded; torn between regretting what he had conspired and sticking firmly to his decision. He couldn't wholeheartedly regret it. He would do anything to protect you even if it meant you end up hating him.
But now, looking at the outcome of his actions, he wasn't so sure anymore.
The way your lips quivered, the glossiness of your eyes, and your pale fists clenched on your sides was a sight he did not want to see. The look on your face which conveyed the pain you felt got through him. Hurting you was the last thing he ever wished to do. He wasn't sure if he could bear the fact that he caused you pain more so than the thought of you hating him.
"Why would you do that?" you were finally able to utter the words that feared to leave your lips. "I know you're just as worried about me as I am with you but, Suguru, don't you trust me? Don't you trust me enough when I say that I can protect myself?"
Immersing in his own silence, his hands remained in his pockets, serving as the only comfort he could find in this position he never wanted to find himself in. His brown eyes fell onto the floor, now refusing to meet yours. He was a coward. That was clear to him but it was a title he would proudly carry if it meant you were okay.
"You–out of all people–know how much sorcery–these missions–mean to me. I can prove myself to my clan. This is the only way I'd earn their respect, Suguru. I thought–I thought y-y–" you trailed off, your lungs seemingly becoming void of oxygen.
Geto finally held his gaze with yours; the apple in his throat rolling back and forth, while his eyebrows briefly furrowed.
"You don't have to earn their respect, (Y/N). They don't deserve you. They never did."
Each word that left his lips was like pouring salt to an already open wound. The tears that threatened to escape your eyes were holding onto your lids for dear life. You were better than this. You won't cry. Not now. Your tears are too precious for something like this.
Not here.
"I know I don't and I know for a fact that I also don't deserve to be treated this way by you either. This is the only way I can free myself from them and I just...don't you understand me?" your eyes narrowed onto the floor. "I don't think I understand you at all."
