𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐄; 𝐣𝐢𝐧𝐱 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

songs explain what i cant.

best friend!jinx x musician!reader

Jinx watches as you announce a newly written song. You seem more nervous and jittery than you'd usually be when performing a new project for the first time. It makes Jinx anxious for you, wishing she could soothe away your clear distress. Only you wouldn't let her.

For the past few months you'd been trying to make the perfect song. At least that's what it felt like to her. You shut her down every time she asked about it.

Her best friend subtly pushed her away. And it was tearing her apart.

You were—are everything to her. She's never loved someone as strongly as she loves you. Never been loved as strongly as you love her. Though you two feel different types of love. Yours more platonic compared to hers...

You two shared everything with each other. Secrets that hadn't been uttered to anyone else, delicate touches and words of intimacy.

Jinx wasn't sure where the line was between platonic and romantic. A friend and a partner.

She's never truly had anyone that filled both those categories. So how was she supposed to know how to distinguish the two?

She came to the conclusion that your actions were merely platonic, convincing herself that no one could ever really like—love her enough to want something more.

And she was okay with that (not really).

The song you're presenting a sound she hasn't heard before, at least not from you. It was softer and sweeter than your usual punk-rockish sound. And in another life she'd love it. But in this one?

Jinx hears the song and gets...sad. Because there's a name in there and it isn't hers. you're singing about being in love with a woman that isn't jinx. And now she isn't sure what to feel. What to think. Because-

She convinced herself that she was just fine with you thinking of her as a friend. But the song was about falling in love with a close friend. It seemed like a clear homage to your friendship. It sounded like it was a song written about her. Blue hair described and all. And it references moments only the two of you have shared. Yet you sing another name.

Why would you hide this from her? Why wouldn't you let her in on this girl? Why why why...

Jinx would praise you and claim to love the song once it was over. Your routine after a performance was to run to her and engulf her in a big hug. Pouring all your adrenaline into the arms of your best friend. A hug that was oh so welcomed.

Her tattooed arms would squeeze you, while she hung onto the cloud of your affection and scent. A scent she'd admit she was probably weirdly obsessed with...

While you talked her ear off about how amazing the audience made you feel. Jinx loved listening to your post-performance talk sessions.

Every damn time without fail.

She's not sure she can handle you going into detail about this new song though. It would surely break her. It's okay, she reassures herself. Just try. Try to be supportive about this. Like you always do.

She holds her breath the moment the set is over. And as expected, you run down the stage and straight to her.

Except your hug feels less excited...

Was it because of the girl you wrote about in your song? Have you been pulling away because of her?

"So...what did you think?"

Jinx responds, overly enthusiastic, "amazing! Just like always. You sure have a way with words." And the last bit sounded bitter.

It left a bad taste in your mouth.

You wince, "really? Was it that bad?" You feel the need to explain yourself, "listen, I'm sorry I've been pulling away. But I needed the song to be good. I needed to get my point across and I didn't want you to find out because it would ruin-"

Jinx is aware that the last thing you need right now is attitude, but finds herself rolling her eyes anyways. Your words make her feel like you know how she feels towards you, and that makes her feel exposed.

She grows defensive.

"Didn't want me to find out because what? Any excuse you try to give me won't be a good enough answer. You should've just told me about this girl you're so infatuated with instead of keeping secrets."

You gape at her, your band mates had awkwardly ushered the crowd away, sensing the tension before the argument even started.

"I- what girl? Jinx, the song is about you."

"...What?"

"I know the song doesn't explicitly name you, but I thought it was...obvious. I don't know."

The song was about falling in love with a close friend. That close friend being her. You were singing about her. You're in love with her.

Well at least that's been cleared up but...Jinx still feels defensive. If not a little offended.

"Why not? You don't want people to know you love me?"

"Of course I want people to! But I didn't want you to know. Up until now I thought we were just friends and that...that's all you wanted from me. I thought that y'know, this would be a cool confession. If you hated it I could just be like 'hey no worries, the song isn't about you anyways'." You shrug helplessly.

"Silly goose. Of course I want you as more than a friend! What about the endless gifts I handmade? And how touchy-feely I am? That's all reserved specifically for you."

"Well I don't know how you are around your other friends!"

"I don't have other friends."

"Oh...how was I-"

She gives you no time to formulate a sentence. Usually you'd be annoyed at your best friend for interrupting you, but when she does it like this? By kissing you? Yeah you could get around to liking it.

And Jinx would normally be annoyed at your rambling only because she couldn't shut you up with a kiss. Yes she loved listening to you talk but sometimes you needed to slow down a bit.

And she could finally do that.

It was hungry, she refused to pull away. Allowing herself to practically eat you alive after all the pining she's had to endure, thinking it was all one sided. It left your breathless, she seemed pretty keen on not letting you go.

You reluctantly pull away, trying to give yourself time to process everything. So much has happened in so little time.

She chases your lips, clearly not satisfied with the time she's had with her lips on yours.

You give yourself about 5 seconds to cool off from the very dizzying kiss before you're rambling again.

"I don't exactly feel special anymore. I thought you chose to hang out with me because you loved me more than your other friends. Now-"

"Shut up," and she's kissing you again.