6 Months Later
Avi POV
I looked at the black ceiling my mom painted for me. My mind is always blank now. After they went missing, I had lost all my motivation. My mom says I'm depressed. I think she may be right. I never eat, sleep, or do what I love anymore.
After they went missing, there was a fight. A huge one. Everyone was blaming either Scott or I saying we took it too fast and they probably got unconformable. It probably was my fault. Scott and I decided that we didn't want to be around people who blame us for something that wasn't our fault. So, we quit. Pentatonix is over.
All I think about is her. She comes through my mind in and out 24/7 whether it's in dreams, or missing posters all over town. She is always there in the back of mind. I have reoccurring dreams about her every single night. All of them is her asking for me. I try to help each time but I'm held back by something.
Kevin is the luckiest of us all. He still has his girl. Aislyn and him have been touring around the world for his cello-boxing ever since the band broke up. They are dating now. Kevin always tries to get me to come to one of his concerts while he is near but I tell him no. Whenever I see Aislyn, I see her.
I always have tried to get better. It doesn't work. She was perfect in everyway possible. I don't think I'll ever forget her. Flashbacks come of her performing on stage. She was so happy. She could be in some guys basement in shackles begging for me. Or even worse dead. I started to cry. She can't be. She can't be dead.
The tissues surrounding my bed was unbearable. I lived in a tissue swamp. I don't have the motivation to clean them up. Like I said, I had lost all of motivation. The word motivation ties me back to her. She was always doing something and working hard. I cried even harder.
There was a small knock on my door, I told them to come in. In my room dark as night, a tall man stood in the doorway.
"Go away Scott," I told him throwing my blanket over me sniffling. I heard footsteps crunch over all the tissues.
"Avi, you need to get up.... you need to go do something." He told me lifting the blanket. I looked at him. Nothing has really changed about his except that he had a little beard going on.
"Fine... I'll take a shower and we will get some coffee. That's it." I said throwing off my blankets. I walked into the bathroom. I stripped down and flung myself into the hot water. The water cascaded down my body. It actually was relaxing to take a shower. I did everything I needed to do and stepped out.
For the first time in monthsr, I was staring at myself eye to eye in the mirror. My beard was unbearably long and my hair was too. I got out some shaving cream and shaved my beard back to the old way it was. I cut my hair to a good length. I stared at myself afterwards pointing out all my imperfections. I grabbed a towel and went into my room.
My room was different. The light seeped in through the window and my lights were on. The tissues were all thrown away and my bed was made. My laundry was all in the bin and everything was organized. It was exactly the way it was when I came home. When I came home.... because of the band. Because of her. I broke down in tears. I grabbed some clothes and walked away before Scott would notice. I walked into the bathroom and put on the clothes. All my clothes are really baggy because I haven't been eating.
I walked into my room and Scott was on his phone. He looked up when he heard me come in. "You look better." He said trying to comfort me. I nodded looking at the floor. He walked over to me and handed me some shoes. I put them on and he leaded me into the living room. My parents smiled at me and told me to have fun. I doubt I will.
We got into the car and I had a flashback of driving home from the date. She was curled up in my lap and very cute. Her curled hair was everywhere but she looked divine. I had another flashback of us telling random stories in the car. It was the last time I actually personally talked to her. I broke into tears. "Scott, I can't do this I'm sorry." I tried to run back inside but he caught my wrist.
"Please Avi..... remember, you're not the only one who lost someone." I looked into Scotts eyes and a few tears fell down his cheeks. I did what I knew to do. I just hugged him. We sat there crying together. It was the first time I ever felt someone share my pain and feelings. I let go.
"Scott, I'll go." I told him. Scott brightened up and nodded. I got into the passengers seat of Scotts car. Scott started the car and the radio turned on. It was blasting a song. A song I knew and never would never forget. My head started to hurt. "STOP IT! STOP PLAYING IT!" I screamed. I covered my ears. Flashbacks filled my head all from the beginning when I caught her in the lobby to when I said she was going to round 4. Looking over, I saw Scott frantically taking out a CD. The music had stopped. "Scott.... never do that again...." I told him. He nodded. And drove to the Starbucks.
Scott sat us down at a larger table. I didn't question it but he went to the counter and got us coffee. He came back and handed me mine. He started talking but I ignored him. I gazed into the distance. My mind was blank. I was pulled back into reality when I heard chairs squeak. I looked down. There they were.
They all looked at me. I took in everything about them. All 3 of them had changed but not very much.
"Avi, will you do one last show with us? Please?" Mitch asked. Everyone looked at him and yelled his name.
"Sorry Avi, that was meant to be asked later. But now it's out on the table. Will you?" Kirstie asked me taking my hand. I shook my head no. And started to get up. I was about to leave when I heard someone yell.
"Bre would have wanted this Avi!" I slowly turned around and ran at Mitch knowing he said it. I picked him up back the back of his jacket.
"Don't you ever, I mean ever, say her name. Okay?" I threw him down on to the chair.
"Avi, she might be lost and be losing hope. But her hearing you are still going on will make her happy. She might even find you again...." Kevin told me. I unclenched my fists and looked at the ground. When I looked back up all eyes were on me.
"Okay. I'll do it. Not for you guys though, but for her sake. She might be out there and know I'm okay." I walked out of the Starbucks and walked the long way home. Had I really just agreed to that?
